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Harry To Take England Job Next Week, Queen To Be Named Terry's Replacement As Skipper

HARRY TO ENGLAND NEXT WEEK! You heard it here first. Actually you heard it from the Mirror first, but my sources at The FA are equal to that of the Mirror so you should believe me on this one just like you believe them. How about we call the race to this scoop a tie? One point apiece, I'll get them on the return leg.

So Harry Redknapp will be named England manager next week and it will be a boon for England. They will obviously win Euro now because a comparison of resumes shows he is the far superior manager to Fabio Capello. Also, as Jermain Defoe says in the Mirror, "he makes players' dreams come true." There is no word on who last rubbed Harry's bottle.

If the FA was cool, they would insist upon this set of requirements for Harry to get the job: 1) He has to also take on the title of "Wheeler Dealer" along with manager. 2) All players must eat bacon sandwiches for lunch. 3) He does all interviews from a car. 4) Sandra Redknapp must be referred to as a WAG for Harry's entire tenure.

Editor's note: Apologies, but the images on this post had to be removed.