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Tuesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For February 21, 2012

I am totally hilarious
I am totally hilarious

Happy Tuesday Spursland! It is Fat Tuesday so please be safe while you are either pretending that this day has some significance to you and trying to get girls with low self esteem to expose themselves to you or are pretending that you are still young enough for this holiday/excuse to drink. In any case, beads for everyone!

And now the "news"

Oh Harry Got Jokes Now- Sky Sports

This is why Harry is awesome and everyone else is crap. He doesn't take himself too seriously. I hope you are taking notes Mr. Complains-A-Lot across town.

Gary Smith "Fired up" For Spurs Replay- BBC

I bet you are, asshole.

The FA Commits To Supporting Openly Gay Players- Daily Mail

What is more surprising, that the FA -- a slow to move archaic institution -- is moving to be very open in supporting gay footballers or that it is the Daily freaking Mail that is reporting it? As of writing this I can't find this anywhere else. Then again, while trying to find this story ANYWHERE else, I did find this. So way to go FA, kind of.

What's happening around SB Nation, including epic presidential badassery after the jump

Arsenal Don't Lack Leaders: They, Like Chelsea, Lack A Point- SB Nation Soccer

In what is perhaps the 37th attempt this week to explain why Arsenal are faltering, Calum Mechie has a go, but this time with a sprinkling of Chelsea as well. I recommend reading this one too despite the great analysis Kevin did here yesterday. I read them all because I am admittedly not very football smart, but it is also kind of entertaining to see so many carefully explain why Arsenal are crap and why Arsene is overrated.

It Is High TIme That MLS Scrap The Allocation Order- SB Nation Soccer

For our English friends who may not know, when a player that has been capped by the USMNT decided to enter/ return to MLS, he cannot just pick a team to sign with. An allocation order is set up and each team goes in turn to either claim him or pass on him. It is ridiculous that it still exists. The league has most definitely outgrown this feature.

Which President Was The Most Badass- Head Kick Legend

A Presidents Day (which I completly forgot was yesterday) write up on badass presidents from the SB Nation kickboxing/MMA crew at Head Kick Legend. I take issue with the list, however. First off, it does not include Andrew Jackson, who was an elderly man when president and beat a would-be assassin to death with his cane on the White House steps (Editor's note: Dude, Trail Of Tears? That disqualifies him from any awards. GTFO.). Secondly, it puts Lincoln -- who was I admit was a bad son of a bitch -- ahead of both George Washington and Teddy Roosevelt.

Washington was amazingly badass. At the time of his presidency he was the single biggest liquor producer in the country. He trail blazed a path from the Fairfax, Virginia area all the way to the Great Lake, and started the French and Indian Wars. That by itself should warrant some props higher than "the second best wrestler in Illinois". What's more, in Washington's time the sport all the cool kids did in Northern Virginia was "tossing the bar," where they threw a giant Iron bar that weighed about at much as a shot put does today (16 pounds give or take) javelin style. Washington saw some men playing, walked up, didn't remove his coat (slap in the face to his competitor) and threw the bar twice as far as anyone else had. He then walked off exclaiming something along the line of "call me when you get close to that." Total badass.

As for Teddy Roosevelt, I mark him as more bad ass than Lincoln because HE GOT SHOT IN THE CHEST AND CONTINUED TO FINISH HIS SPEECH. Also, as the write up points out, the old man did have the most well-rounded skills. No word yet where in the rankings Aaron Burr would fall, that cheap shotting son of a bitch.

Animals With Soccer Balls Is Adoracute: Puppy- SB Nation Soccer

Speaking of badasses, look at that lil fella!