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Thursday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hottspur News And Links For March 22, 2012

Luka's facial expression reflects reality
Luka's facial expression reflects reality

(For the purposes of theater, please read this section of todays Hoddle Of Coffee in the voice of Ric Flair)

Happy Thursday, Spursland! Confession time, some of you may have noticed that I was absent from the live thread during yesterday's match. I made a decision at halftime that I was going to the gym. Part of that decision was predicated on my knowledge that I am a big fat slob, but mostly it was because I had seen this game too many times before and I knew exactly how the game was going to turn out. Then again, I think we all did. The best case scenario was that we tied and still felt like crap about it. The worst case scenario was that we let in one soft goal and the sky falls down around our ears.

I went back after the game to read all of your comments and I was struck by the amount of people wondering why Harry couldn't seem to manage his personnel. This was surprising, but not really when you consider what may be the defining trend of Redknapp's run at Spurs. Nobody seems to understand how he succeeds. He doesn't really do tactics and he is a famous "man manager," but the same players keep making the same mistakes over and over again (what up, Kyle Walker). So how the hell is he doing it?

This is actually comforting news to me since the times when we seem to be really ramping up our running down of the head man usually are followed by the team doing gang busters and it seeming to really be because of a decision Harry made. I thus make this conclusion: Harry Redknapp has sold his soul to the Devil and will eventually have to stand trial at the end of his life represented by whoever the British equivalent of Daniel Webster is. It is the only possible explanation for this crap.

And now the "news"

Harry Bemoans Lack Of Patience- Sky Sports

If the players need a lesson in patience, they need look no further than The Big Boss Man and his patience in waiting to finally see his beloved man crush Gio be given a chance to prove he still exists.

We Have Lost Our Way- BBC

Good, you have admitted you have a problem. Now the next step is finding a compass, pointing it north and then going in the right god damn direction. In fact, give the compass to Rafa, he seems to know exactly where the hell he is going. If the rest of this team knows what's good they will fall in behind him. As for the ones that don't, well, law of the jungle is survival of the fittest and we will sell them off to Middlesbrough .

VIDEO: Every Messi Goal For Barca Ever- Deadspin

Because we need some joy in our lives today.

Whats happening around SB Nation after the jump

(For the continued purposes of theater please read this section in the voice of Jake The Snake Roberts)

Indian League Player Suffers Cardiac Arrest On Pitch And Passes Away- SB Nation Soccer

I just have no words anymore.

Everton 0 - Arsenal 1: Quick Reaction- The Short Fuse

I assume no Spurs players read this everyday, but on the off chance this gets in front of any of their eyes, and since Harry can't manage your mental state at all this month, allow Coach Roosevelts to step in. Some of you may know, I coach wrestling at the high school and middle school level. Most of my kids have never wrestled before and dealing with a loss in such a personal sport is difficult for them so I'm going to tell you guys exactly what I tell them.

Read this short fuse recap. Read the last line of it. Look at how passe they are about passing us. It is like it doesn't even matter. Think about how you feel after today's game and think about what this feels like when your competition moves ahead of you, like it doesn't even matter to them. Let that feeling sink into your skin like a gash. And then, let go of that pain, refocus on the goal, win the next match and let that would heal through your hard work. Let that wound scar over as a reminder of the pain you felt after the loss and never let that happen to yourself again. Now go get your orange slice.

Please Welcome Bavarian Football Works

Just as Spurs continue their march towards certain relegation, or so it feels like, SB Nation continues its march toward domination of the sports writing world as we welcome our newest addition to the Sports Blog Nation.