Happy Friday, Soursland! My apologies for leaving you wanting yesterday, as evidenced by the thousands of emails I received clamoring for your daily dose of footy news and dick jokes. Today we have a double dose for you. You are getting both barrels to end your week. Have a great weekend and if you really really want to, tip back a beer for me too.
And now the "news"
Remember That Awesome Dutch CB That Wanted To Join Us This Summer, He Is Having Second Thoughts- Sky Sports
Weird how that happens when you look like you won't be playing Champions League ball next season.
The Return Of Harry Redknapp Saying Unture And/Or Infuriating Things- The Guardian
Oh, didn't you miss him these last two days without Harry saying things about stuff in your life? Well that magical time is over now and it is back to the hard times of reading something Harry said then spending the rest of your day head butting sharp objects, aggressively.
Javi Marquez Could Be Spurs Bound- Sky Sports
Maybe this guy is amazing, but if he isn't getting time at Espanyol then unless we follow the satirical advice of Nick Petrilli and blow up the team, I just don't see where he fits in.
Verdan Corluka Troll's Harry, Makes Logic Observation- BBC
Nobody anywhere has any right to be upset by these comments. Harry's mother couldn't help but agree because it makes too much sense.
What's happening around SB Nation after the jump
Robben Flies, Is Eaten By Giant Net Monster- SB Nation Soccer
Robben is one of the most athletic people on the planet, but you wouldn't know it from this GIF.
VIDEO: Bastian Schweinsteiger Sends Bayern Into The Finals- SB Nation Soccer
I know I should be moved watching this video. The game was amazing by all reports (I didn't see it since I was off coaching) and the building of drama was as high as could be, according to my twitter feed. However, all I can think about watching this video is "Jesus, remember when this guy had that bleach blonde hair? Good god, he looked like a waking German stereotype."
Sergio Ramos Saves The Planet From Asteroids And Impending Doom- SB Nation Soccer
I am only disappointed that there is not a Roman Pavlyuchenko reference in there.
Drake's Favorite Football Team Is All Of The Rich Ones- SB Nation Soccer
I hate you, you Degrassi dork face!
The Special One Is Staying At Madrid For One More Year- SB Nation Soccer
And thus, the hearts of the most un-pragmatic of Spurs fans were crushed.
Madrid's Failure Is Not The Special One's- SB Nation Soccer
A great look at what caused the defeat for the Spanish giants. And while it might be true that Madrid's loss does not rest on the shoulders of Jose, it is way more fun for me to ignore the facts and just blame him anyway.