Happy Humpday, Spursland! There are a lot of references to violent sports, and/or general violence for your morning reading pleasure today. So before we jump in to the guts of the news of the day, let me leave you with this thought --fighting can be adoracute.
Gomes can go back to PSV. I am fine with that. Granted, he has more big saves in him than just about anyone else, but he also plays two or three games a year with what appears to be hands coated in clarified butter. I don't know, maybe all the awesome saves make him think he needs more of a challenge, but who is going to be the keeper next year or the year after? Brad, who I believe became a great grandfather for the second time last Thursday, doesn't have a lot of time left. #weneedakeeper
Chelsea want the FA Cup fixture to be played earlier in the day instead of the massively late 6 pm. This they say will give the hooligan factions of the two clubs (although for some reason they don't have the balls to say the word hooligan) more of a chance to clash. Perhaps it is because hooligans are notorious for taking their suppers at a later hour, thus leaving them free for 6 -7:30 tear ups? Because if you played the game during the day when most people are working the guys who willingly risk prison time and or losing their jobs and careers to beat the crap out of each other with weapons, those guys are totally going not skip out on work early. I mean they care about things, you know?
This is a great example of the dangers of the internet. That little boy, his life is kinda over when it comes to being cool or in any way badass. As soon as he meets a new friend, gets a new lady or man friend, someone will immediately whip out their future tech communipad and pull up this video and, boo. He's forever tainted as the kid knocked out by the girl.
I have seen this first hand myself. In school, the headmaster's son was pinned by a girl in seven seconds when he was in the seventh grade. The school responded by banning inter gender wrestling matches. This was also referenced at our senior commencement and any time we ever say him hitting on a girl. I saw him for the first time in seven years last Christmas; guess what the first thing I asked him was? "Hey, Chad, remember when you got pinned by a girl, in like, what was that SEVEN PATHETIC SECONDS?" Parents be responsible. If you have an embarrassing video of your kid, don't put it on the internet. That is unless the person who posted this is the girl's dad. That guy has to be feeling pretty good about the treatment her future boyfriends are gonna get.
What's happening around SB Nation after the jump
What you young'ns know about the Beastie Boys, AKA, when rap was good. Don't get me wrong, there are great artists now, but for every J. Cole, Rick Ross, and Childish Gambino (Editor's note: this list of current "great artists" is solely Roosevelt's and not representative of CFC) there seems to be a dozen Flo Rida's. So all you young bucks out there, get your Beastie Boys knowledge on. That and ponder how FC Dallas is still ranked so high.
Dana White is the most powerful person in MMA and being a big fan (and a former amateur fighter myself) I am very much used to hearing him say dumb shit to, in pro wrestling parlance, get MMA "over". The soccer community is not, it appears, used to Mr. White's not-so-well-thought-out quotes and Jimmy Conrad responded very reasonably. And Dana has accepted Jimmy's challenge. While Dana has been known to say things that are offensive, sexist, completely factually wrong and contradicting, he does very often accept these sorts of challenges when people, especially fans of his product, ask him. Whatever you think of Dana White, I think we can all agree that we can't wait to see the result of this.
Before you read this, and you should really read this, resist the urge to pass this off as a Liverpool apologist (while there is a smattering of that admittedly) and take it for what it is: an examination of what makes a play dirty and an illegal play smart. While I do personally wish diving (not drawing fouls, but the diving and clutching the face like you were just knifed) eradicated from the game, I disagree with the idea of retroactive cards and fines. I firmly believe that in every sport, when played at the highest level, there is a certain amount of what would technically be considered cheating and it is accepted by the participants. The unspoken rule, I can do X and if I get away with it, it's fine, but I may never do Y. I don't ever want that dynamic to change because with every single sport, taking that away would alter the game in ways many of us cannot imagine, and really probably wouldn't want.
I hope you guys like long ass, thought provoking articles about Liverpool, because Anfield Asylum delivered two for you today.