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Monday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For May 28, 2012

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Chill, hombre
Chill, hombre

Happy Memorial Day, Spursland! While my fellow Americans are off guzzling beers and jamming hot dogs into your gullets (yes, England, this is how we remember those who died for our freedom) please take some time to call, email or smoke signal a thank you to any veterans in your lives. To our readers in England, Canada and the rest of the world, I know it is not your Memorial Day, but screw it. Go say think you to some veterans. None of us say it enough as is so what the hell, let's make them feel appreciated. We are keeping it light hearted today, but let's be sure to remember what this day really means. And after you are done that, you guys can try out my recipe for the "Pure Freedom Hotdog".

Step 1: Fry up two slices of bacon per hotdog you will be making, place bacon on hot dog bun

Step 2: Butterfly and then pan fry the hotdogs in the leftover bacon fat, place on hot dog bun

Step 3: Add slices of American cheese or aged American cheddar, place on top of the hot dogs

Step 4: Top with sunny side up fried egg

Step 5: Put into face and know exactly what they were talking about in the Fairfax Resolves.

And now the "news"

Caulker Teases Swansea Return- Sky Sports

Listen up, young man. You seem to be getting a little big for your britches. You are a good young player, but you need to back off trying to flex nuts on my boy D-Levy. You don't want to go burning bridges so early in your career.

Spurs Young'ns Take Second in the Volksbank Cup Losing On Penalties- TottenhamHotspur.com

I cannot wait for this current crop of teens to develop. It seems like every time we turn around the Spurs underclassmen have been finalists or champions in another high-level youth tournament. This must be what it was like for Barcelona like 15 years ago. I mean, our youth squad is like 10 and 1. (Full disclosure I don't think they are actually 10 and 1, but you get the point)

Understanding The Jan Vertonghen Transfer Saga- Dear Mr. Levy

In case you are new to the team and would like to get a read on this Dan Levy fellow and his negotiating tactics, our pal, Spooky23 has you covered. I personally like to picture Levy's negotiating style as more like this.

What's happening around SB Nation after the jump

Roberto Martinez Offered Liverpool Job-SB Nation Soccer

Seventhpool. Wait, Eighthpool!

Donovan The Star, But Klinsman The Real Winner In USMNT Romp- SB Nation Soccer

I didn't get to see the match as I was off getting creamed by my old man in our fantasy UFC pick'em game, but I followed along on twitter and it sure sounded like Scotland was as bloodied up as the first 10 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.

The Best Thing The FA Have Ever Done- SB Nation Soccer

I'm no expert on disciplining people, but i have a great idea of how to handle Joey Barton.

Chelsea On Defending, Winning, And Buses- SB Nation Soccer

Andi Thomas makes a well-reasoned defense of Chelsea's tactics during the Champions League final and I agree, you have to respect the defense. It is hard to park a bus (I, unlike Andi, have parked a bus. In fact, I backed into a guard rail with one last Friday.), but what Bayern didn't realize in the final was that when you approach an impossible to penetrate wall, the sensible thing to do is have Steve McQueen jump it with a motorcycle.