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Friday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For May 4, 2012

This just says it all
This just says it all

Happy Friday, Spursland. Want to have your day brightened? We play Aston Vila this weekend, and that means the return of Alan Hutton to our lives. Dear Gareth Bale, you want to stay out on the left this weekend. It's gonna be like Milan all over again.

And now the "news"

Harry Denies Vertonghen Bid- Sky Sports

Please, Dan Levy, don't do this to me. I can't take this kind of thing two summers in a row. You know, the will they, won't they. It is like an entire season of Gossip Girl (is that still a thing?) or any other teen drama. I DON'T LIKE TEEN DRAMAS FOR A REASON! (Editor's Note: He doesn't like them, he loves them) Just sign him or say no thank you and that's it. We are in a very sensitive place right now emotionally.

Rafa Wants Harry To Stay Forever, Denies That England Was A Distraction-

Rafa I love you, but less flat out lying about things and more time on the treadmill. I'll be cool with you saying as many ridiculous things as you want when you can go 90 a few games in a row. If you don't need to be subbed off at 75 minutes you can bend my ear for hours about how LBJ was the one behind the Kennedy assassination, that raw vegan cheese cake is better than real cheese cake or that Donald Trump's hair is better than Scott Parker's. However, until you reach that level of fitness please pipe down with the "England wasn't a distraction" baloney.

What's happening around SB Nation after the jump

VIDEO:Freddy Montero Scores Goal From The Parking Lot- SB Nation Soccer

I have the sudden urge to go lift a lot of legs. Is anyone else feeling insecure about their lower body strength right now?

Florentina Fire Delio Rossi After He Attacks Player Mid-Match- SB Nation Soccer

The sacking was absolutely the right thing to do, but the video doesn't really look that bad to me. I don't see any the blows to the head. I do see a lot of an old dude doing the splits and some fumbling of arms. Maybe it's just me, but if I am getting fired for hitting someone, I want to make sure I take one part of their face and hit them so hard it is no longer where it is supposed to be.

The 7500 To Holte Awards- 7500 To Holte

Alan Hutton, you remember him, don't you? He wins the award for "Most Likely To Be Taken Hostage By A 7500 To Holte Writer". Nuff said, bro.