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Monday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For June 18, 2012

This is all your fault you asshat
This is all your fault you asshat

Happy Monday, Spursland! I hope all of you dads got a nice sleep in yesterday before your kids kicked in the door and gave you a shoddily assembled pile of what you suspected were breakfast foods. And on top of the indignation many of you undoubtedly felt as you pretended to be happy shoveling half-cooked pancakes into your face while telling your six-year-old you love them, you were subjected to having two big games to watch at the Euros. Yet were only able to pay attention to one of them, because they kicked off at the same time. All of them. I know some people (Kevin McCauley) revel in having multiple screens up and running to watch all the games. I am not one of those people. I want the games staggered so I can watch them one at a time, one after the other on a Sunday of glory. You dads deserve that kind of leisure on your day.

Now I know, I know, that they play the games at the same time to make it harder to fix the games, BUT I DON'T CARE. I WANT MY DAY OF SOCCER AND DAY DRINKING. It strikes me that if this is what you do to discourage match-fixing then match-fixing is an even bigger problem than we thought. But you know what, this isn't boxing. If it is this easy to fix a match then UEFA aren't doing their job (shocker!) and it is ruining our Father's Day. Lets get it together and make this a day of glorious television viewing while fathers get to pawn off their kids entirely on the wife for a day. Instead of two kick ass football games we get one game and I swear to god I saw Soul Plane and Indiana Jones And The Crystal Skull on TV yesterday. This is what we are forced to watch? Get it together, UEFA, for our dads' sake.

And now the "news"

Delusions Of Grandeur Haunt The Men Who Run Tottenham- The Guardian

There are some arguments made about economic factors and managerial stability, but let's ignore that and focus on the rigid class structure this author views football in. What a bunch of crap, the idea that Spurs should just be happy to be where they are. This is the new world, bro, and while I am in the actually new world (what up, Columbus and the Native Americans, Viking raiders, and perhaps even the Chinese who came before him) and I assume this jagaloon is in Britain, the new world isn't just a geographic region anymore. It is a social reality in the western world. Get used to teams striving to be the best, not the best of the midlands, or Yorkshire, or just in England, but the best in the world. This is a worthy goal for all clubs from the massive Barcelona to the tiny Bath City. I have always felt this idea was best summed up in Michael; Shaara's classic book, The Killer Angels.

I'll be treated as I deserve, not as my father deserved. I'm Kilrain, and I God damn all gentlemen. I don't know who me father was and I don't give a damn. There's only one aristocracy, and that's right here - " he tapped his white skull with a thick finger - " -Buster Kilrain, The Killer Angels

Okay, now AVB, I am kind of counting on you to make me not look like a prat here. So go win the league and do so with inferior resources. NO PRESSURE BUDDY!

Ganso Trolls Europe- Sky Sports

He will only leave for a big club, a club that can match the size of Santos. This guy is linked to Spurs, Man U and Porto, but he is holding out until a club as big as mighty Santos comes along! And while Santos is a big club in Brazil, in South America even, I don't think I have ever heard that name thrown around when people talk about the world's biggest clubs.

Are Modric AND Bale Headed To Old Tradford?- The Busby Babe

The answer is no, unless you have £100 million, maybe even more to spend. How is the credit card payment going up in Manchester, guys?

What's happening around SB Nation after the jump

VIDEO: Danny Welbeck Blows Your Mind Against Sweden- SB Nation Soccer

I guess I am the only one to say this, but my mind was less than blown. I have watched the video at least a dozen times, not because I wanted to, but because ESPN played it over and over again as if we were examining the Kennedy assassination footage. And I just don't think Welbeck intended to do this. I think he was just putting his foot out to catch the cross and hoping that he could then get a shot on net. Watch the video again and then compare it to this or maybe this, and you can see the difference. The intent it pretty clear in these two goals, whereas in Welbeck's it doesn't look to be as intentional. So let's not crown Danny Wlebeck the Prince of Wales just yet.

VIDEO: LA Galaxy Supporters Showcase Impressive Editing Skills- SB Nation Soccer

See, I know this is fake because LA doesn't have fans for its sporting events except for Bill Simmons and the celebrities that sit courtside at the Laker games.

Huntelaar Has a €20 Million Buyout Clause- We Ain't Got No History

We have seen this before. I await the people telling me I am wrong about this in the comments section.