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Translating Andre Villas-Boas: Charlie Adam Is An Assclown

Someone kick him in the face
Someone kick him in the face

For those of you unaware, Charlie Adam is an assclown (the use of the word assclown has been chosen so as not to offend anyone because the more accurate ways of describing him would require stringing together a series of obscenities). He likes to tackle and get "stuck in" so lots of old people like him because they think he is a throwback to when "footballers were men". The truth is that he is reckless and has made a habit of coming in late and with his studs up to injure players. If someone studs up kicked him in the face then it would be called justice.

Adam's latest victim is a repeat sufferer, Gareth Bale. The Tottenham winger missed the end of the 2010-2011 season when Adam's late, studs up tackle tore ligaments in Bale's ankle and this was back when Adam played for Blackpool so this isn't an anti-Liverpool thing. This is an anti-assclown thing.

This time around, Adam went in on another late, studs up challenge and once injured Bale, but here is the best part -- it came in a preseason friendly. Adam can't even shelve his assclownery for a July friendly. He's so hardcore.

Naturally, Tottenham manager Andres Villas-Boas does not think that an assclown hacking around at his best player in a preseason friendly is a good idea. His reaction below, with appropriate translation:

"I think it is a very nasty challenge from Charlie," Villas-Boas said. "The player is gone and he comes in from behind on Gareth's ankle. I did not know the previous history between the two. I know now."

That previous is history is Adam's horrible tearing up Bale's ankle. He did it because he is an assclown.

"It is a difficult one, to be fair. You do not want to end up in a game with Liverpool with 10 men."

But you could end up in a game with Liverpool with nine men. That happened last year against the Reds when they got two men sent off. One of those was Adam, because he is an assclown.

"Charlie came to me and said something about the challenge. I can accept but I think he should go to the player to say sorry."

What Adam said is, "sorry I'm an assclown. I'd go tell Bale sorry, but I'm an assclown."

Well said, Andre.