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Tuesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For July 3, 2012

"When TheRoosevelts makes me a burger, I feel the need to kiss it before I eat it"
"When TheRoosevelts makes me a burger, I feel the need to kiss it before I eat it"

Happy Tuesday, Spursland! My fellow Americans and our friends from England and the other countries of this great planet, tomorrow is July the 4th. It is a day celebrated with food, festivities, fireworks and remembrance of past sacrifices, but today let us focus on the food, shopping and prep time that is needed. For those of you who have never been to America, the discussion point of how to make a correct hamburger, the most American of foods, is almost universal (1/2 of ground meat patty cooked medium rare served on a bun). But everything else that goes with, into and on the burger is a subject of fierce debate. Yesterday morning, this debate caused the great America basher Bryan Ashlock to call me un-American. I know, just let that marinate for a minute.

In responsem I present to you with not just the Hoddle Of Coffee, but a burger recipe that would make John Adams not think Ben Franklin was such a douchebag if Ben had served this to him while they were together in Paris.


  1. 1 1/2 pounds ground beef 80/20 mix
  2. 1 medium red onion
  3. Bacon
  4. 1/4 cup horseradish mustard
  5. 1/8 cup soy sauce
  6. American cheese
  7. Pickles 1 pablano pepper
  8. Franks red hot sauce
  9. 1/4 cup mayo
  10. Kaiser rolls
  • Get a big bowl and toss in your ground cow, add your mustard and soy sauce, followed by the onion thinly diced. Mix BY HAND. The onion adds body to the flavor of the meat while the horseradish gives a very subtle kick. The soy sauce, like each new wave of immigrants to our fine land, adds new depth to our American flavor.
  • I don't use ketchup or mustard on this burger (on the straight up original recipe I do) and neither should you. I love our classic American hamburger, but that is for every other day of the year. Today we celebrate, so let's dress the old gal up for a night on the town/backyard.
  • Get a blender of a food processor and add your pablano pepper and the mayonnaise and blend it well. Then for spice, add as much or as little Frank's Red Hot Sauce as you need, but remember the more you add the more of a vinegar flavor you will get.
  • Now hand form your burgers into 1/2 pound patties and grill to a medium rare.
  • After you flip the burger (only flip it once or you are doing it wrong) top with a slice of American cheese (Kraft singles don't count, go buy some actual cheese at the deli).
  • Toast your roll on the grille, then apply the mayo. Then sit the burger on the bun top with the bacon and the pickles, then put it in your face.

Repeat as many times as necessary to achieve a coma.

All the "news " including what's happening around SB Nation after the jump

Adam Johnson Linked To Liverpool And Spurs- Football Talk

If I were Adam, I would pick Liverpool because they would totally continue to pay him his inflated oil soaked wages. That said, I think he could do very well at Spurs and I would be very happy to see him sign.

Are Football's ITK's Getting Worse?- Football FanCast


Can We Please Shut Up About David Villa- SB Nation Soccer

I was going to say that, but I had already moved on to other things in my head. Fucking Ashlock and his burger criticisms.

Euro 2012 Power Rankings Final- SB Nation Soccer

I think that Ryan "Sure, buddy, write all you want about burgers" Rosenblatt summed it up best when he said:

"Maybe the best thing about Italy's run to the final is that there isn't really a single person to single out as the reason they made their run."

Are Goals Overrated?- We Ain't Got No history

Full disclosure, I found this title to be to dumb for me to actually read the article. This is not to be a reflection on the author or that I do not think he has a point. It is just that I kind of knew I would disagree already, but admired his balls for posting something so outlandish that I had to share it with you.

Did I mention that you need t make your burgers by hand and cook them until medium rare? Because if you are not then you are doing it wrong.