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Gareth Bale Could Still Leave Tottenham, According To Dumbest Article Ever

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Sup ladies.
Sup ladies.

I should have ignored this. I really should have, but I can't help myself. This morning, on ESPN, I came across an awful bait-and-switch headline with an even dumber article below it. First of all, here's the stupid headline.

Bale could still leave Spurs

Fine, jerks. You got me. I don't really see how that's the case, but you wrote it and it's intriguing, so I clicked. Good job. You've met your bait-and-switch headline quota for the day. Now that you've done that, why don't you tell me exactly how and why Gareth Bale could still leave Tottenham Hotspur?

An ESPN source said: "Yes, Bale might well have signed a new four-year contract, but that won't stop a club making a big enough offer if they wanted the player badly enough - and Spurs are not going to turn down £80 million."

OH FOR F--KS SAKE!

Of course Tottenham aren't going to turn down £80m. Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi are the only players in the world whose clubs would not accept an £80m bid for their services.

This just in: Harry Redknapp might eat a bacon sandwich if Sandra makes one for him.