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Monday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For August 6, 2012

No, I don't know why I won't shut up. Why, do you? CAN YOU HELP ME? OH THE VOICES!
No, I don't know why I won't shut up. Why, do you? CAN YOU HELP ME? OH THE VOICES!

Happy Monday, Spursland! 13 days, boys and girls, cats and kittens. That is all that stands between us and the end of crappy friendlies and the start of the season. That is 13 days until we will have more to do everyday than track down the latest half truth whispers about transfers and start talking about who is in form, who is breaking into the first team and who is going to next display just how crappy Arsenal are since we all know they won't have Van Persie to prop them up this season. 13 days is a long time, so OH LOOK PUPPY GANGSTER RAP. (NSFW audio)

And now the "news"

Villas Boas GIve Modric Update- Sky Sports

To summarize, there is no update, and Modric should be prepared to rejoin the team in shape should Real Madrid continue to be stingy with the bill.

Redknapp Continues To Tell Tales Out Of School- The Guardian

This right here is why Harry Redknapp has not been hired by another club. Your prospective employers do not like it when you air out all the behind the scenes info from your previous employers, well thought of members of this small community that they are. Now I like Harry and I like that he speaks his mind. That is why I don't want him to manage anymore. It is a waste, you see. He would be much better as the color coordinator on broadcast TV.

The number one thing that sucks about sports is that the on-screen broadcast talent beat around the bush too much. There is zero chance that Harry wouldn't be direct and open about things and on top of that, everyone likes him. Go into TV, Harry, and entertain us. It will probably be better for your health, you could make good money and you could spend some time with your boy.

What's happening around SB Nation after the jump

Columbus Crew Rookie Kirk Urso Dies- SB Nation Soccer

Thoughts and prayers, folks.

VIDEO: Nelson Rivas Headbutt Will Inevitably Draw The Ire Of The MLS Disciplinary Committee- SB Nation Soccer

Oh, holy hell what a pile of crap this was. First, Antoine Hoppenot takes Nelson Rivas down with a Ricky Steamboat level arm drag. Then the headbutt, which is completely unneeded, and then Hoppenot sold it like he got shot in the face. That headbutt was really a love tap compared to anything meant to cause harm. It was still a red card, but not exactly a repeat of Zidane in the World Cup. Really the only person in this scuffle that looks good is Jack Mclnerney, who came to his dickhead teammate's aid after what he must have thought in the moment was a viscous attack. Thats the kind of guy I want on my team. The other two are just jackasses.

Eric Abidal Eyes December Return From Liver Transplant -SB Nation Soccer

1,000 internetz to the person who makes the best Darth Vader joke in the comments out of this.

Football Broadcasting War: Spanish TV Deals Could Derail Start Of La Liga Season- Managing Madrid

Oh, holy hell is anything, literally anything, going right in the countries along the Mediterranean right now? Economy, sports scandal, violent revolution, and terrorism -- the entire Mediterranean basin is in chaos. If you are reading this from one of those countries please mail us a picture of a kitten or something so we know that 100% of things aren't totally awful.

A Kinder Gentler Bowl Eligibility- Everyday Should Be Saturday

This is what great writing looks like.

Presenting The Most Meta Blog Ever- Blog Huddle

This might be as close to an SB Nation specific TMZ as we are going to get. I can't wait for them to leak pictures of Ryan Rosenblatt passed out in an alley with McCauley Culkin. (Editor's Note: I prefere ditches to alleys. Personal preference.)