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Younes Kaboul Attempts to Convince Hugo Lloris to Come to Tottenham Hotspur

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Earlier today Sky Sports reported, via L'Equipe, that Younes Kaboul called and spoke to Hugo Lloris about his potential move to Spurs. The following is a transcript of that conversation.

Lloris: Allô? Qui est à l'appareil

Kaboul: Hugo! It's me, Younes!

Lloris: Younes! How are you doing my man! It's great to hear from you. We missed you in Ukraine this summer.

Kaboul: Yeah, I noticed. It sucked missing out on a quarterfinal exit, but I'm sure you all did the best you could. Anyways, the reason I'm calling is because I know there's been a lot of talk in the papers about you coming to Spurs and I just wanted to talk to you about the club.

Lloris: You really don't need to sell me on it Younes. I'm really quite excited about it.

Kaboul: That's great! It really is a great club to play for. We've got a new manager who is really changing the whole environment around the club. We're moving into new training facilities soon. The cafeteria there is going to have the best crêpes.

Lloris: I was never a really a fan of crêpes. I always preferred Mille-feuilles, Seriously though, Younes, you don't have to sell me on this. I want to come to Spurs. All the club needs to do is agree on a fee with Olympique Lyonnais. My bags are literally packed.

Kaboul: I think you mean figuratively.

Lloris: No. I mean literally. I am ready to leave at a moment's notice.

Assou-Ekotto: Did you tell him about how the French League sucks?

Kaboul: Damnit Benny!!! Get off the phone. I'm trying to do important things here.

Assou-Ekotto: Don't forget to mention the crêpes.

Kaboul: Damnit Benny! Don't make me flip your smart car on its roof again!

Assou-Ekotto: Giggling. Followed by the click of a hang-up.

Lloris: Everything ok there?

Kaboul: It's just my roommate. He's a bit mental. Nice guy though. That should in no way influence your decision to come or not come to Spurs.

Lloris: Look, Younes, I've made up my mind. I want to play for Spurs. Being able to play in a league like the English Premier League would be an amazing opportunity. Like I said, I'm just waiting on a fee to be agreed.

Kaboul: I know Hugo. I'm sure it would be tough for you to leave Lyon, but it would be great to have you. One of our goalkeepers is old enough to be the manager's dad. Another is kind of a butterfingers and I'm pretty sure the third isn't even under contract, but just keeps turning up to training. You could come in and be first-choice right away.

Lloris: Are you listening to anything I'm saying Younes? All Spurs have to do is sell Modric so that they have the money to sign me and I'll be on my way.

Kaboul: Have I mentioned how much nicer London is than Lyon? Wait. Did you say we have to sell Modric?

Lloris: Yes. That's what your chairman keeps saying. If Luka leaves then the chairmen says he will bring me in.

Kaboul: Oh. Well. This is a pointless discussion then. Nice talking to you Hugo. Click

Lloris: Hello? Younes? Hello?

Assou-Ekotto: Giggling