Due to College Football being back (Go Blue!), Tottenham Hotspur not playing any football this weekend (damn international breaks), and Clint Dempsey joining Spurs (Don't Tread on This), I decided to listen to my favorite my favorite Southern College Football program, only to hear a caller talk a little proper football. This is how it went:
Finebaum: OK, we got Joe from Tuscaloosa on the line, and he wants to talk a little...Tottenham Hotspur? (chuckle, chuckle). OK Joe, what's your reaction to Spurs' slow start this year?
Joe: Pawwwwllll, I want to thank you for havin' me on the program, love the show. But your AN-AL-EEE-SIS on SPURRRRRS is reeee-diccccc-youuuu-lusssss.
Finebaum: Now why do you say that Joe?
Joe: Now Pawwwwllll, you obviously are BI-ASSED against Tottenham Hawwwt-Spur. You talk about Spurrrrrs like this team ain't the class of the EEEEEEE-PEEEEEEE-ELLLLLLLL?
Finebaum: Uh Joe, Spurs do only have two points through three games this year, right?
Joe: Only because of them daggum cheatin' referees! Every time Spurrrrrrrrrs gets a lead, those cheatin' refs give aways some [BLEEEP]'in fouls and penalties to make sure we lose. It's a cottdamn EEEE-PEEEE-ELLLL conspiracy, PAWWWWWWLLLLL! And don't even get me started on how them fancy EUR-OHHH-PEEE-ANS cheated us out of Champions League this year!
Finebaum: I mean it was tough for Tottenham, but those were the rules right?
Joe: Now how you gonna tell me that Spurs finished fourth but didn't make Champions League? All because them rich boys down at CHEL-SEE won the Champions League? I'm telling you MEEE-SHELLL PLAT-KNEE is trying to bring down the great TOTT-EN-HAAAAM HOT-SPURRRRRR, PAWWWWWWLLLLL!
Finebaum: OK, I hear ya, I hear ya. But why do ya think Tottenham's the class of the Premiership this year Joe?
Joe: Pawwwwwwllll, we just had one of the greatest transfer windows the world has ever seen. You tryin' to tell me Hugo YOUR-EEEEES ain't just about the best goalkeeper in the EEEEEE-PEEEE-ELLLLLL? MOOOSE DEM-BAY-LAY SCORED ON HIS PREMIER LEAGUE DEBUT! And we ain't even talked about CLINT DEMPSEY yet, probably just about the greatest player in the whole league! I mean, he's a born and raised Texas boy and he scored 23 goals last season! Deuce ain't even played one minute this season and scored in 30 seconds last night!
Now here's my real question: are we going to beat them red cheaters from AR-CEE-NALLLLL by four or five goals when we play them in November. Immma hang up an listen. Roll Damn Spurs. [click]
Much love to the incredible EDSBS for the inspiration