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Tuesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For September 4, 2012

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He actually just has peanut butter on his fingers.
He actually just has peanut butter on his fingers.

Happy Tuesday, Spursland! Fear not, those of you who despair, for this forthcoming weekend is the weekend of the Deuce. Bryan Ashlock can bellyache over it all he wants, but the Deuce will save us. And if he decides to rap during his post-game interviews when he is asked how he scored all five of those goals we can just hit the mute button. Everything is going to be all right, guys and girls. I know because The Deuce doesn't mess around, yo.

And now the "news"

Spurs Made Berba Bid-Sky Sports

If we made a bid, and considering how little the former EPL leading scorer sold for, it is almost baffling why he didn't end up back at the Lane. £5 million is a fair price for him, and potentially an amazing price if he plays like we all know he can. My only guess is that Levy went and Levy'd the bid or Berba is still so bitter about his time at Spurs that he didn't want to come back.

Spurs Legend Backs AVB- Telegraph

So pipe down all you chicken littles. The man has some backing now.

Spurs Fans Strike Gold In Paralympics-

Because we are just so awesome it hurts.

What's happening around SB Nation after the jump

Hulk Moves To Zenit St. Petersburg for €50m- SB Nation Soccer

I am going to laugh at Russia when the oil and natural gas runs out (soon) or when we as humans start to use renewable energy sources in a serious way (never) because then Russia will be penniless. You guys really should stop just mowing through this cash like it will last you forever because when it is gone you are back to being nothing more than steppes to grow wheat, some mountains and then Siberia.

Kentucky Fans: Lousy At High Fives, Good At GIFs- SB Nation

I now have an unusual interest in seeing if this guy can tie his shoes.

Pardew Banned 2 Games, Fined 20k For Referee Shove- Coming Home Newcastle

For anyone who has really, really wanted to smack around a ref, they know that it was totally worth it.