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Happy Tuesday, Spursland! When I looked at the schedule and realized that our next game was a Cup tie I got very excited. What is better during the boring hell of midweek than a Spurs game? Nothing, that's what! Some people make the case for The Rolling Stones classic Exile On Main Street, or meaningful human contact. And those people would have a point, but screw them, they are wrong.
So imagine my pain when I learned that this game isn't until Sunday. How the hell are the in-charge-type-people (guaranteed to be a devious-looking, old, white guy) going to do this to us? We have to wait an entire week and all we get is a Cup game? And I thought those torture scenes in Zero Dark Thirty were brutal.
And now the "news"
Following Rooney Near Penalty Thing, Calls For Manager Challenges...Like In The NFL- Telegraph
Please, please no. We don't need this. Football and American football (a game ruled by the Baltimore Ravens and no other teams) are so completely different in their nature that it would be a huge mistake to bring in a major rule from one to the other. Football is the most stop and start game in the history of the world not named baseball or cricket. That is why the challenge from the sidelines doesn't break up the game so much. The complete opposite is true in soccer. It is a game of flow with very few stoppages. It just doesn't fit. Also Fergie would ruin it.
De Gea Most To Blame For Spurs Defeat- Express
Yes, because in a game that finishes 1-1 there is a loser.
Fredy Montero On His Way Out Of Seattle- SB Nation Soccer
And the fans of every other MLS team rejoiced (Editor's note: Wrong. I'm going to miss Fredy...a lot).
Arsenal's Not Good Enoughness- SB Nation Soccer
A measured and reasonable trip to the woodshed for a well-deserved beating for that other team.
Katharine Webb To Star In ABC's Celebrity Diving- SB Nation
I don't care that the girl that several all men in America seem to fixated on, despite the existence of better looking and probably more well-rounded and smart women living on their own street, is in a TV show. I care that someone thought that celebrity diving was something that Americans are dumb, stupid and generally low enough to want to consume. It might be time, not to do the lame "I'm moving to Canada thing," but to go full bore about it. It's time to move to another country (which, I don't know, is Burkina Fosa nice?) and start America 2.0. I'll bring investment dollars, and the Bill of Rights. I am fine with dropping the English language since it's pretentious anyways. Sound off in the comments because I am at least 25% serious about this.