Thursday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For October 17, 2013

Happy Thursday, Spursland! Huzzah, the American government shut down has ended. You Australians can stop mocking us at least until the new year, but lets think of who is hurt by this. No, not Ted Cruz, I mean Skipjack. He has been off since this started and good lord does he get rip roaring drunk every night. Since there was no deal until later in the evening, he was totally half in the bag, maybe all the way in the bag, and now he has to get up today and drive his governmentally employed ass down to DC. Sucks to be you, bro.

And now the "news"

Erik Lamelalalala Says He Still Needs To Adjust To The Physicality Of The English Game- Sky Sports

We noticed. Step one, get a less douchy haircut. Step two, harden up and get your brave on.

Roy Hodgson, England's Savior And A Not Very Funny, Kind Of Racist Joke- Mirror

Let's go down the check list here dear friends. Did it make sense? No. Did it clearly illustrate the intended point? Absolutely not  Did he refer to a black person as a monkey? Yes. Roy Hodgson, Dumber than Harry.

How The USMNT Completed The Great Mexican Bailout- SB Nation

In 1994, we did it with a check. In 2013, we do it with some sweet, sweet footie. When will they just admit that without us that are nothing? There has to be a NAFTA joke in there too, right?

Bale Could Return Against Malaga- Managing Madrid

Hope you guys end up getting your money's worth :)

Mexican Announcer Really Likes America- SB Nation Look It

This was posted in the comments yesterday, but it is just so god damn good.

World's Coolest Grandfather- Deadspin

You can get some crazy prop bets going in the UK apparently.