Spurs doomed to lose in Birmingham

Skipjack was unable to provide analysis of this week's upcoming game against Aston Villa. Instead we have transcribed the views of a caller from Ledley King's radio show. Thanks to Peter Berkes for his assistance in understanding this call. Roll Damn Buffalo.

Hi Ledlee,

Long time listener, first time caller. Really looking forward to the game on Sunday in Birmingham. You were a great player and I think you're a great analyst but I think you're wrong here and Spurs are going to lose in Birmingham. I'll tell you why.

Congratulations to Spurs on their summer signings, but they are not going to be able to win this game and its because of Nick Saban. He is the real mastermind in Birmingham. He is an expert motivator and recruiter. Paul Lambert? C'mon Ledlee, how else do you think they gathered the best young talent in football with no recruiting violations? They have that strength, that hunger, and that SEC speed, Ledlee.  They might not have Trent Richardson any more, but they got that Andi Weimann. He is as polite and handsome a boy as you will ever meet and he's gonna embarrass Spurs on and off the pitch. If they have an answer for him, it does not matter. It does not matter. They're just gonna play Christian Benteke, Ledlee. Now I know that you and your listeners probably know this, but he is big, strong, built like a truck, and just look at his name. He is right with the Lord. What can you do against a man who is right with the Lord, Ledlee?

Tottenham don't have an answer here. Spurs aren't gonna tackle, they aren't gonna dribble, and you know and I know that they aren't gonna be able to score! This is AVB's fault! Let's not beat around the bush. Let's be honest. We all know that Andy Boas doesn't have what it takes to bring in a team devoid of a single American accent to Birmingham. That's not an opinion, that's a fact. That is a fact.

Look at Spurs' shots on target since the second half against Chelsea! LOOK AT IT, LEDLEE! IT'S EMBARRASSING. IT IS EMBARRASSING. BEAR BRYANT IS ROLLING OVER IN HIS GRAVE TO SEE SUCH A BAD TEAM PLAYING FOOTBALL IN BIRMINGHAM. IT IS AN EMBARRASSMENT, LEDLEE.

If Mr. Boas wants to have any chance of winning this sunday, he is gonna have to get down on his knees and pray to the good Lord that Lane Kiffin has some relatives working for Aston Villa that owe him a few favors. Otherwise Cam Newton's got a better chance of getting paid for playing football in Tuscaloosa than Spurs do of winning this game. This never would've happened if Logan Young was still alive.

Do you see any way Spurs aren't doomed to play in the Mississippian 4th division after sunday?

I'mma hang up an lissen, Ledlee, but before I go, I just have to say it: Roll Damn Tide.