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Tottenham Hotspur not doomed against United because the internet will save us!


Valerio Pennicino

Tottenham Hotspur are going to play Manchester United at home tomorrow and we are definitely not doomed because the team has signed up AVB for a Twitter account and now Spurs fans can show the team the way.

Some teams would be forced to muddle through a goal drought and settling in a new team by themselves, but not Spurs. They can count on their fans to help them and support them and show them how to fix all their problems.

We've all seen it in our twitter feeds: "I die a little inside when we pass it backwards." "How is AVB the only one not seeing this?" "I've always said we should start Ade." "Tottenham should try to sign this Bale guy." "FFS LEVY SIGN A STRIKER." "AVBOUT"

How we all survive such piercing insight and humor is a question in of itself, I mean, LOL why would we sign Bale we just sold him that's crazy, amirite?!?!?!?!?!

But now that we have hooked AVB with the interwebs, all of our problems are solved. Inverted wingers constricting Soldado? Congrats guys, you've opened his eyes. We should pass it more into the box? Why didn't he think of that? Horny cougars want to fuck all night, click here? That sounds like an evening of fantastic dimension.

And if you think AVB is the problem himself, don't worry. Daniel Levy has joined twitter, reddit, AND tumblr this week, so you'll finally be able to show him exactly why you're shipping Katniss and Gandalf AND how Spurs' hopeless slide was inevitable and the only logical thing to do is fire a manager who has a struggling team two points off the Champions League in November. I mean honestly, its already November guys, it is #obvious. The only logical thing to listen to your heart and your timeline and fire AVB and hire Martin Jol! C'mon guys we hated how he got fired, but we loved his fat ass. Remember how much you loved the team and nothing was wrong under him? It is your mission, nay your DUTY, to convince the club to write this wrong and hire Martin Jol so the terraces have another song they can sing.

This is a huge responsibility, but the best part is they feel no need to be so egotistical about helping the club avoid relegation to the second division of the Hunger Games, no, they just tip their twitter icons' caps and ride off into the sunset. Being able to say #yourwelcome is all the credit they need. Thank you, you brave soldiers of the internet. You keyboard warriors of the seven sisters. Thank you, you princes of the transfer window, you ITKs of the world. Thank you, you knights of Football Manager. Thank you.