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Tuesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links December 17, 2013

Tottenham Hotspur news and notes, sans AVB.

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Paul Gilham

Happy Tuesday, Spursland! This is weird, ain't it guys? This doesn't feel right. No, I am not talking about AVB being kicked to the curb. I just mean this general situation we are in right now post-AVB. It just reminds me of something. It's Christmas time? Okay. We have a large cast of characters that are of varying ages, social classes? Sure. And all these characters are intertwined in some close to very loose ways? Check.

Hmmmmmm I feel something. I don't necessarily know what I feel, but I know where I feel it.  I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes.

And now the "news"

Leandro Moves To Santos For €13 Million- Sky Sports

Oh we gave it a shot, didn't we? We were patient and waited for the right moment at our company Christmas party in the weird art gallery with the Santa hats covering the picture of of ladies' nipples. But the fates interceded and we needed to go spend some time with our dear brother and now the hot dude is done, the moment passed and we all move on with our lives not knowing what might have been.

Glenn Hoddle Keen On Spurs Job- BBC

Dude, you can't seem too in to this. People find that weird if you are to aggressive, even if you are doing something like delivering muffins and then once you realize you have blow your shot with all the jobs around you in England you have to rent out your flat and hop a plane to a terrible part of America. But when you get there maybe a team will approach you and that team will look REALLY REALLY HOT, and they will give you what you wee looking for the entire time. So I guess it works out for you in the end, you shallow son of a bitch.

Dan Levy's Renown As A Wheeler Dealer (what?) Is Beginning To Be Cast Into Doubt- Guardian

A reputation that will be forever tainted. Our view of him forever changed by that one fleeting mistake of buying his secretary that shitty looking necklace. Even though he stays with his wife he made that one AVB sized mistake and it will never be the same.

Ya get where this is going at this point? If you haven't I feel sorry you've never seen that movie.

Monaco Eye Walker- Telegraph

Sorry, Monaco. Walker doesn't have any interest in you. He is flattered that you took that creepy video of him at his wedding and all, but it was weird. So when you show up in your go-for-broke cue card display he politely gave you a consolation prize and then went back inside to watch TV with the one he really wants to be with forever. US.

AVB's Successor Faces Impossible Job- Telegraoh

Yeah, much like Liam Neeson's "successor" faces an impossible job with keeping Johanna. This girl is jet setting all over the world, meeting other 11-year-old boys with other exotic accents. Have I mentioned that they are 11? This is never going to work out in the long run.

Dempsey To Fulham On Loan- Stars And Stripes FC

So he goes to America to someone who appreciates them, and then he comes back at the end to his black friend? I don't know. This one is hard to put into a Love Actually scenario.

Balotelli's Boots Covered In His Own Headlines- SB Nation Soccer

Its cool to be in to yourself, but sometimes when that happens it's really awkward. Maybe you had a good day at the work and everyone is really proud of you at the moment and someone plays a song you like on the radio. You know, something old school from back in the day and you start dancing around your mansion. It's fantastic, it's a ten and you are digging it and then you realize your housekeeper has been watching you the entire time. The only thing left would be to go find the "chubby girl" (she isn't chubby) that you liked, and she liked you, but then she quit because of a bout of sexual harassment from the American president in the odd colored ties.

Yea that last half doesn't even come close to fitting into the storyline, but I just needed an excuse to point out that that girl was in no way chubby. Deal with it.