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Happy New Year's Eve, Spursland! Or rather happy New Year to all you guys down under. I hope you all have your New Year's resolutions in order. My New Year's resolution is to whip every single person who asks what my resolution is right in the face with a bicycle chain. And yes, I will just have a bicycle chain handy as I will be doing a lot more biking this year to keep my weight down in the "fuckable without depression the next day" range for my lady friend.
And now the "news"
Holtby Wants More Starts- Sky Sports
How to take a very positive set of statements and present them as negative towards the team: A day in the life of beat reporter that has been ordered to get more page views.
RVP Could Return Against Spurs- Manchester Evening News
That's okay, Vlad Is gonna lock him up, or at the very least is gonna make a face at him as he runs right by Dawson and puts the ball in the net.
Premier League Title Race Part 1: The Darkhorses - SB Nation Soccer
Our "dear friend" gives some rather generous odds for us to win the title. It's to the point where I am not sure if this is just a lack of mathematical proficiency or, more likely, he just wanted to be nice to us after an emotional roller coaster of a season so far. Thanks, Callum!
Essien Could Move In January, Says Agent- We Ain't Got No History
Maybe the most unsung player from Chelsea's glory years. Everyone seems to talk about Lamps and Terry and Drogba, but in my humble opinion he was one of the more major reasons why Chelsea's trophy case grew in size so fast (Ed. note: Claude Makelele was also pretty good).
5 Head Coaches Fall On The NFL's Black Friday- SB Nation
And of course the Redskins handled the firing of their head coach in the oddest, most overly complicated yet slapdash way possible. Redskins owner Dan Snyder is like pizza, Lewis Hotlby videos, and sloppy drunk sex -- he never disappoints.