Wednesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For December 4, 2013

Happy Spursday Spursland! I'm calling it, Soldado nets a hat trick. There, I said it. It's out there in the open like, and completely contradicting my prediction for the prediction league. I think. I usually get pretty loaded before I make those picks. It's my system.

And now the "news"

"I Will Start Scoring," Says Soldado- Telegraph

I hope you pinky swore that. You cost a ton of money, I took the time to learn which vowels and in what order appeared in your name. We got a lot of eggs in the Soldado basket, you know what I mean. (Editor's note: He spelled Soldado as "Saldado" all three times)

Tottenham vs. Fulham Preview- Cottagers Confidential

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas..

Derby County Looking To Seal Permanent Simon Dawkins Move In January- Sky Sports

I look forward to not seeing him on the loaned out list every time I start a new career with Spurs in FIFA. It's the little things in life that make it worth it, really.

AVB Is Naive To Think That People Should Take Him At His Word- SB Nation Soccer

A well-written piece containing an excellent Fraser reference.

World Cup Pots Announced- SB Nation Soccer

More #narrative in here than in your 11th grade American lit class. #scarletletter

VIDEO: Patrice Evra Gets Sexual Harassed By A Tottenham Fan- SB Nation Soccer

Yeah, I went there and called it that, because that's what that is. It doesn't matter that he is a dude, and isn't cute that the lady got handsy. It is an unwanted sexual advance and that is wrong and I hope this women's hair is stained that by that horrific dye job forever as punishment should the authorities not look into this matter.

MLS Announces 5 Potential MLS Expansion Cities- SB Nation Soccer

And they all suck, a sure sign that MLS is growing too big, too fast. MLS is not a top tier sport in this country, it shouldn't be expanding like it is. There isn't a joke here so let me just close with this video of an infant farting.

Rape, Assault Coercion, Stories From Inside Team Lloyd Irvin- Bloodyelbow

The very ugly side of the coach/athlete relationship. Very ugly. Like ugly ugly. Like Uncle Menno Ugly. Seriously, it is a miracle all those pictures of his kids he tweets are so adorable considering they have his genetics.