Monday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For December 9, 2013

Happy Monday, Spursland! So the Holtby guy is just the best isn't he? I don't want to take credit, but the night before the game Big Papa Roosevelts texted and asked me who my favorite player on the team was. The next day Holtby became the best player on the pitch in the attack. Looks like somebody is getting a new kit for his family's duly designated winter spiritual holiday gift giving event, and it looks like "somebody" turned this team around all by himself. I'll accept your pledges of fealty in the comments.

And now the "news"

Daws Gives Interview, Says Who Has The Biggest Dong- Sky Sports

For certain members of our community, this interview must lead to the same reaction that men in the sexually repressed early 50's had when they heard what Marilyn Monroe wore to bed. Don't worry, they will resurface in a few days.

I will tolerate none of the incredibly obvious big things/small packages jokes you are rushing to post in the comments.

Need For Speed- Sky Sports

As the second half started on Saturday, I actually said out loud "did someone just decide to say 'fuck the game plan, lets try to do some stuff"? Because, dummy that I am, that is my first pass at analyzing what I was seeing on the light reflected from my TV and onto the backs of my retinas. I am pretty sure that's how eyes work, right? Blink once to signal the FBI that you also thought that while watching the same.

AVB On Erik Lamela's Culture Shock- Guardian

As someone who works on a daily basis with students who come to America, the land of often barley-able-to-speak English while having been raised in a very similar place to America called "China" and are aged not so much younger than Mr. Lamela I can tell you that this is a big deal for the kid to overcome. And you guys know if I thought this was some kind of bull excuse I would have no problem saying so. For example, Nick Petrilli hasn't written a post in what sure seems like forever, it's probably because he is a @#&.

Roma's Unbeaten Streak Now At 15- SB Nation Soccer

T-minus two years until these wins are found to have been tainted by gambling interests and the mob.

Ante Up America- SB Nation Soccer

Thank you for pointing out that you must struggle against The History Channel.  Aside from the occasional mini series that is watchable it really is a crime against our children.

Sporting KC Wins Epic Shootout For MLS Cup- SB Nation Soccer

Congrats, but your name still sucks.

Matt Prater Sets NFL Record With 64-Yard Field Goal-SB Nation

Kicking balls is universal. There really is more that brings us together than what keeps us apart.