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Thursday morning Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for March 14, 2013

Tottenham Hotspur links, on the Europa League, finishing top four, Tom Carroll, Kyle Walker and digging tunnels with your hands

Michael Regan

Happy Spursday Spursland! And Habemus Papam gang! Religious or not I think we all had a great time yesterday watching literally every reporter in the world on live TV waiting for smoke to come out of a pipe. That Journalism degree seems like money well spent, now doesn't it?

Say what you want about the great trolls of the world, I doubt any of them come close to the Catholic church when selecting a new pope. As each day without a new pope goes on you can watch the talking heads get progressively more frustrated, and more insane. Usually when they cover elections there are leaks left and right, overnight tracking polls, independent polls, exit polls and TV ads. But no, the Catholic church ain't having any of that crap. They close the doors and you sit and wait until they are done. No, we don't know when that will be, they might never decide, you just keep sitting there waiting. Oh and we won't even tell you when it is over, we will send up a smoke signal that you never really can tell the color of. So even when it is over Anderson Cooper still lives on in uncertainty for juuust that little bit longer. Almost like Dan Levy during transfer windows. Just keeps you waiting and then at the last minute BOOM, here is your new star player.

And now the "news"

Top Four Is More Important Than Europa Glory Says AVB-Sky Sports

Bah Gawd that's Tom Carroll's music.

Kyle Walker Added To Bale To Madrid Rumors-IB Times

Dude if you are going to drink sooooo heavily at work you need to do a much better job of disguising it. Kyle "opps that back pass got away from me" Walker to Madrid? Yeah that's going to put him right up on their radar.

USWNT Re-Claims Algrave Cup-Stars And Stripes FC

From what I understand it is rather hard to compete against a team that has Abby Wambach on their BENCH.

Sounders beat Tigres-Highlights-Sounder At Heart

Please stop Seattle you are making it increasingly hard to not like you!

Barca's Win Equates To Putting Lipstick On A Pig-SB Nation Soccer

A pig? Maybe, but I can assure you that just from looking at it you know it shall be a delicious pig, a pig whose meat will be rich and fatty and oh god does it show that I gave up pork for Lent?

Galatasaray Fans Found Tunneling Into Schalke Stadium-The Guardian

This should be especially frightening for the Germans since the Turks made a habit of tunneling into similar large structures that the Germans wanted to keep them out of during several past instances of "competition". But seriously doing it with their bare hands was rather ambitious wasn't it?