Wednesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For March 27, 2013

Happy Wednesday Spursland! As of this writing it is halftime between the USMNT and Mexico and the score is knotted at zero. Now, in the interest of keeping my options open to the outcome, I present to you the following media metaphors for each possIble result.

If the US loses, it will probably because we played the game as well as these guys played Jeopardy.

if the US wins, it will be because America is as awesome as these guys in the pictures.

And if we have ourselves a draw... (Editor's note: Ding, ding, ding!)

And now the "news"

Zabaleta Calls Bale The League's Best- Sky Sports

Um, somebody hasn't looked around his on locker room lately. Awkward.

A Special Gift For Camp Bastion Supporters Club- Tottenhamhotspur.com

Way to go, JD. And way to go Camp Bastion.

The Birth Of A Rivalry, US Vs. Mexico -SB Nation Soccer

Read this. Read it right now.

Nick Saban Landsharked- SB Nation

This is maybe the most disappointing headline to actual picture ratio ever for me. You see, at my alma mater, to landshark meant something completely different. It involved a nude rugby player, an artfully shaped cardboard fin made from a beer case, four freinds to carry you around and dozens of horrified party goers. Use your imaginations ;) This is not that.

The America's Team- SB Nation

Hey, butface, read this too. We know you aren't doing any work right now and your boss is out of town anyway.