Editor's note: I'm tired, you get typos
Happy Wednesday Spursland! Wednesdays just absolutely suck. Try and list something worst than waking up Wednesday morning and realizing it's Wednesday. Just think about that five second span of life, contemplate it's mysteries and try to find something worse than that. I'd almost rather have someone throw a microwave at me.
And now the "news"
The Dead Wood That Won't be At Tottenham Next Season-ESPN FC
This is a brutal take on who should stay and who should go. And shout out to whoever posted this in the comments yesterday, I want to give you credit, but not nearly enough to take 3 seconds and look that up. So thanks sort of.
Bale Should Stay And Help Spurs Become Champions Says Hoddle-The Sporting Review
Yeah, tell'em Steve Dave.
Balotelli Suspended For Three Games-SB Nation Soccer
Yawn, what happened to you Mario? Are you becoming sane in your old age? We need more, we just need more. You can't set the bar that high and then not even attempt to clear it ever again. Don't be an asshole about this, we all lead boring lives and you don't, so give us some entertainment.
The Keys To Bayern's Record Breaking Season-SB Nation Soccer
If I wrote that I would just list their roster and say " well there you go" but this guy decided to put effort into it, so that's nice.
Papa John Had A great Time At The National Championship Game-SB Nation
I have to say, his awful cringe inducing face-lift looks a solid 50% better when he is so drunk he is being carried around.
LeBron Threw Himself An Alley Oop-SB Nation
For once Lebron does something that makes me scream "THAT'S FUCKING TRAVELING, when did they change the rule to if you make above this many millions a year you get and extra god damn step" only for the first time I was wrong.
WWE Stars Weigh In on Internet Debates-SB Nation
For example Roman Reigns of The Shield has "mixed emotions" about Mayo. How is that for hard nosed journalism.
Borussia Dortmund Vs Malaga: Once In A Lifetime Awesomeness-SB Nation
After watching the highlights I agree, look at me going out on a limb, what a daring little cad I am.
Professional Twitter Prostitue Outs Louisville's Peyton Siva-Deadspin
And let that be a lesson to you young perverts out there, don't sext with a prostitute with a penchant for tweeting the names of guys she has sex with when they do pay, and then not every actually hire her for her immoral services.