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Tuesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links April 2, 2013

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Daily Tottenham Hotspur news and links, today on nonsense.

Marco Luzzani

Editor's note: Really couldn't be assed this morning so appreciate this in all of its typo'd glory

Happy Tuesday Spursland! I have you ever got into a game of "what is more likely to happen"? I am currently embroiled in a Spurs vs. World affairs version of this of epic proportions. What is more likely to happen, Levy sings a striker that turns out the guy we need, or Kimmie fat face over in North Korea cowboys up and actually pushes that red button? I can't answer that. I can't do it and that is sad.

And now the "news"

Is Cristian Cebellos Tottenham's Most Promising Youth Player?-Here In This City

They spelled Tom Carroll wrong.

Tottenham Need Adebayor To Score More Goals-Sports Rant

Look at you, all going out on limbs and stuff.

A Game To Forget In A Forgettable Season For All-SB Nation Soccer

It's like a headline was designed to make you consciously decide to not read the story, but do it anyways.

Zaltan Returns For PSG, Just In Time For Barca-SB Nation Soccer

Making his epic return I find myself pondering what would Zaltan's WWE style walk out music be. I consulted my advisor on all walk out music matters, one Jon Jacob Jinglehiemer Skipjack. He went with this.

The Worst April Fools Joke Ever-SB Nation

And that's how you know who the asshole in the group is.

AJ Burnett Has Raisin Bag Mishap-SB Nation

Do we really call it that? Raisin bag? That seems strangely sexual. Think about it.

Cancellara Takes Tour Of Flanders-Podium Cafe

Unfortunately what is making more news outside the cycling world is that Peter Sagan, one of the hottest young riders in the world, decided to give one of the podium girls' hind parts a pinch. Sexual harassment still alive and well in Europe!