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Monday morning Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for May 13, 2013

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Daily Tottenham Hotspur links, today on Gareth Bale, Lionel Messi, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and getting dunked on.

Laurence Griffiths

Happy Monday Spursland! I just can't help myself.

And now the "news"

AVB Warns Moyes off Bale Move-Sky Sports

Oh, look at New Money Moyes over here. Final gets a little bit of money to back him and the first thing he thinks of is to buy something he clearly can't afford. This is like the first 1/3 of every episode of Behind The Music ever.

AVB Urges Bale To Sign A New Deal-BBC

I present to you a startlingly accurate dramatization of the negotiations.

Messi Re-Injures Hamstring, Status For World Cup Qualifying In Doubt-SB Nation

Least clever person in the room proceeds to make a "but he isn't even good for Argentina" joke.

Zlatan Screams At Leonardo-SB Nation Soccer

Still no explanation as to why Leonardo does not carry two swords and have a completely bland personality.

VIDEO: Altidore Scores AZ's Cup Winner-SB Nation Soccer

"He's like America's Messi, he scores boatloads for his club then sucks for his country", said someone just slightly more ahead of the curve than the guy who made the Messi joke.

You Can Get Dunked On Anywhere-SB Nation

I can attest that this is a prominent thing, my students have been doing this for years. Be watch full around pull up bars.