Tottenham Hotspur transfer rumours -or- The Guardian hates you and wants you to be unhappy

Here is a headline from The Guardian:

Tottenham target Leandro Damião and Roberto Soldado for next season

Here is the sub-headline:

• Scott Parker and Tom Huddlestone available for transfer

We now have a chatroom where all of the site's writers talk. Here was the instant reaction to this article:

Ed: I CAN'T DO THIS FOR THE THIRD STRAIGHT SUMMER
Roosevelts: I will not
Menno: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
LE: no me jodas , guardian
Ryan: I've kicked myself in the balls enough, thanks

Tottenham Hotspur need at least a striker, and probably more than one striker. Roberto Soldado is a realistic signing and a guy who I've hoped was on Tottenham Hotspur's radar for some time. You all know who Leandro Damiao is and that Spurs have pursued him in the past, and you probably hate yourself for following the developments of his not transfer. It's okay, I hate myself too.

It makes me kind of sad that we're probably going to sell Tom Huddlestone at a cut rate after he looked improved at the end of the season, and I figure Scott Parker, despite the crap season I think he had, is probably more useful to us as a backup than the couple million we'd fetch for him. Also, the Guardian says Emmanuel Adebayor is for sale as well.

Gear up for a really long summer of this stuff, followed by us signing Arouna Kone on August 31.