Welcome to a new feature here at Cartilage Free Captain! We staff writers love the EPL transfer season. The Silly Season™ brings out all kinds of rumors about player transfers – some are real, some are fake. And some are so unbelievably crazy, ridiculous, and obviously false that you can't believe that someone actually put this in print.
"Dispatches from #batcountry" takes its name from an article by CFC staff writer The Sleeper's Sleep, who took the phrase from Hunter S. Thompson's "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas" and attributed it to the craziness associated with the transfer season. That's what we're featuring in this series: the craziest of crazy rumors. The stuff that you look at and make you question humanity. Think of it as a CFC-sanctioned #dailymenno, only I didn't make these up: someone else did.
Today's glorious tidbit comes from Twitter via Argentina via Mars:
El Tottenham está dispuesto a pagar 30 millones de euros por el delantero montenegrino de la Juventus, Mirko Vucinic.— Futbol_Mercado (@Futbol_Mercado) May 30, 2013
And here's the translation, courtesy of Google Translate:
Tottenham are willing to pay 30 million euros for the Montenegran striker from Juventus, Mirko Vucinic.
Seems legit. Vucinic is a player that's been linked to Tottenham Hotspur in the past. What's so crazy about this rumor, you say? Well, I'm glad you asked. First, while Vucinic is a decent enough striker, he's 29 years old and is coming off of a rather "meh" season with Juventus where he scored 10 goals in Serie A. But what's REALLY crazy is that this source is suggesting that Tottenham would be prepared to bid €9m OVER his stated market value (from transfermarkt.co.uk), or about £25.7m, obliterating Spurs' record transfer bid in the process.
For a 29 year old player. Who scored 10 goals last year.
Now, look. Vucinic isn't a bad striker, at all. But for us to believe this particular rumor you'd have to believe that Daniel Levy will be willing to do two things: bid on a 29-year old non-superstar striker coming off of a sub-par season, and OVERPAY by a significant margin for the privilege. I, like our own dear (soon departed) Benny, LOL at the very thought.
My own (brief) research can't seem to find much information about @Futbol_Mercado except that they're run by "Media Sports," are ostensibly from Argentina, and have a YouTube channel that features nothing but uploaded commercials featuring famous football players. I'm just a guy on a blog, but I think I can pretty safely say that this particular rumor is shake-my-head-bogus.