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Moment of Truth Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for May 8, 2013

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Shaun Botterill

Happy Spursday, Spursland! The ominous day that will (maybe) define our season has arrived. The reckoning is here. Let us not be meek, but stand up and in one voice say, "No, you troll looking Russian." You can buy all of the attacking midfielders you want. In fact, buy ALL OF THE ATACKING MIDFIELDERS, but you cannot buy our heart, our fire, our dreams. You also cannot buy Gareth Bale LOL LOL TROLLLLLLOLOLOL!

It's on.

And now the "news"

Mata Is Wary Of Bale Threat- Sky Sports

Congratulations, Mata, for proving that you have access to literally any of the sports-related media in the country you live in. Now more importantly, how can I get cheek bones like this guy? I am slowly transitioning away from my recent Winston Churchill cheeks and I need to get this look. Either cheeks like Mata or the dude from Sherlock.

Chelsea Return Is Not Very Special, Says AVB- BBC

I don't buy this shit about it being just another game for a minute. Any person with any amount of competitiveness can't function like that in this storyline. And saying things like "they are a club that I have moved past," oh man, what a great veiled jab at Chelsea.

Bale To Trademark Heart Celebration- Telegraph

This came out yesterday, but I need to ask our legal eagles if I'll be infringing on his trademark if I continue to do the heart thing after every correct answer I get in bar trivia?

WAGNH Reacts To Bale Trademark- We Ain't Got No History

They have some strong feelings.

PSG Sporting Director Suspended Over Shoulder Contact With Referee- SB Nation Soccer

What? A French guy felt threatened and overreacted? Well I guess with their history and all, amIright?

Good god I am such a hack.

Mourinho Calls Iker HIs Number 2, Other People Don't Like That-SB Nation Soccer

And who does number two work for?