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Tuesday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links June 11, 2013

Tottenham Hotspur news and links including a look at Lewis Holtby and FIFA 14.

Alex Grimm

Happy Tuesday, Spursland! Welcome my friends to day number two in our sojourn through this news desert we are calling summer. And yes, summer has been going on for a bit but the desert of news has only been recognized since yesterday. This lack of news is like that streak of presidents we had from Taylor to Buchanan. When you think of what they did, them not congress (what up D-Webster), you just picture a vast expanse of nothingness. Strap in people it's "Shoehorned as hell US Presidents themed Hoddle of Coffee." And don't you go hating me for this my British friends. I'm doing the research now and coming soon, Prime Minister themed Hoddle of Coffee.

And now the "news"

Perez Hints That Bale Transfer Could Smash Madrid Transfer Record-Mirror

Someone changes teams an it sends shockwaves across the footballing world? Reminds me of that time a certain mustachioed wrestler came out of retirment, and switched teams, and went Bull Moose all over everybody's asses. Well not everyone but he split the vote and allowed Woodrow Wilson to sneak in there and waste everyone's time with that pie in the sky League of Nations BS. And do you think that with TR in office again the US waits even half the time to get into World War 1? No chance, it would have been raining dough-boys and mustard gas in France baby.

Holtby Looking For A Fresh Start-Sky Sports

Maybe Lewis is channeling FDR, and is looking for deal. Oh get off my ass they can't all be winners.

FIFA 14 Trailer Released, Game To Feature Awesome New Features-Polygon

This is going to change the game. Remember like 10 years ago playing FIFA? Every time you turned around someone was there to tell you how much it sucked, would never be any good, etc.? Then out of nowhere FIFA steps their game up becomes THE player in the game and just keeps improving. it's like the Republican Party when they basically, by accident, picked Lincoln as the nominee in 1860. From the of fringe of the nation politically, and geographically to running the show. Nice job FIFA (this is the only scenario I ever see myself saying that line).

Ashely Cole Is Now DJ Ash, Still A Tool-SB Nation Soccer

An insufferable tool you say? Sounds to me like Ashely Cole's US Presidential spirit animal has got to be Chester A. Arthur.

Stevan Jovetic What's The Big Deal Anyway-SB Nation Soccer

Alexander Hamilton, tons of talent, but just never made it over the top or back from that row boat trip to Jersey.

The Patriots Sign Tim Tebow-Pats Pulpit

Of Tim Tebow, The John Quincy Adams of football. All kinds of potential, he did amazing things in the lower levels of the sport, Time Tebow won everything in College and John Quincy was a US Diplomat in Russia in his early teens. And yet when they get called up to the big shows it is just a ton of meh.