Dispatches from #batcountry is a daily series at Cartilage Free Captain where we examine ridiculous transfer rumors found on the internet and tell you why you shouldn't believe them. Why #batcountry? Because our own author The Sleeper's Sleep wrote a brilliant article last summer comparing the Silly Season™ to a scene from Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. It seemed appropriate.
Tottenham Hotspur has already been linked to ten strikers so far this off-season, and those are just the ones that seem like credible, viable links. If you include the completely baseless internet rumors, the number is much higher. And the numbers just keep growing.
Today's rumor comes courtesy of website Fanatix, who links Spurs to Roma striker Pablo Osvaldo. Sort of. See, the article is more about the fact that Inter Milan is now supposedly "keen" on Osvaldo, and that this might complicate the ability of Spurs and Atletico Madrid to sign him, as they are also tracking the player.
Quotes? Oh hell no, there are no quotes. And the "source" for this article seems to be a one-paragraph article from Italian website Il Corriere Dello Sport:
"Mazzarri vuole Osvaldo all'Inter. Il tecnico stima tantissimo il giocatore, tanto che lo avrebbe voluto anche a Napoli come possibile sostituto di Cavani. L'ostacolo principale è la richiesta della Roma: prezzo base 20 milioni. I nerazzurri dovrebbero prima cedere, primi indiziati Ranocchia e Guarin. L'altra difficoltà è che il giocatore piace all'Atletico Madrid e il club giallorosso preferirebbe cederlo all'estero."
If you Google Translate that paragraph, you'll find no absolutely no mention of Tottenham Hotspur anywhere. Spurs have been linked (in typical #batcountry style) to Osvaldo in the past, in the same way that they've been linked to many other strikers over the past few years: solely in the minds of fevered football journalists. Apparently this "zombie link" is enough to continue to include Spurs in a list of potential suitors for Osvaldo.
So are Spurs interested in Osvaldo? Almost certainly not. There's no indication that Spurs want him, there's certainly no indication that he's interested in moving to north London. Unless striker candidates 1-15 or so don't pan out, file this rumor in the part of your brain reserved for bad reality television and Tim Tebow stories.