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Monday morning Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for June 3, 2013

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Daily Tottenham Hotspur links, today mostly on Gareth Bale and America.

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Ian Walton

Happy Monday Spursland! Oh man, another summer Monday. And still we wait. We wait for the news, good or bad. Is Bale Leaving? Who are we signing? Why is Bentley still sitting on the sofa? GET OUT OF HERE BENTLEY. What I am trying to say is that it's boring AND stressful right now. And these things can wear on you. So just get rid of your stress the same way I do. By imagining pop songs being sung in the voice of the Macho Man Randy Savage. I find that Bruno Mars' more upbeat stuff works the best.

And now the "news"

Spurs To inform Bale He Is Not For Sale At Any Price-Telegraph

Eesh, this makes an upcoming post from the staff a bit awkward. Not awkward as in 90% of jokes from the Office, but we are in that general neighborhood. That's what we in the business call a teaser.

Heads Up Gareth, Moving To Madrid For The Money Could Backfire-The Independent

Unless the money is in the 85 million range. And I really don't care about the currency. I mean 85 million marks from the Weimar Republic should still get us all the cash we need. Don't quote me on that, math is not my thing.

Happy Centennial America-Stars And Stripes FC

And as an added insult to the Germans, I sent them on their way with one of these for every member of the team.

Clint Dempsey, Scorer Of Awesome Goals-SB Nation

This goal is EXACTLY like D-Day.

Chivas Fans Take To The Skies To Protest-SB Nation Soccer

Am I an idiot that sky writing blows my mind? I just feel like it shouldn't work because gravity is still a thing. Also submarines, but for different reasons.