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Dispatches from #batcountry: £100m for Bale?!

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The Metro kicks the Bale transfer rumor crazy up to 11.

STOP WITH THE CRAZY-TALK!
STOP WITH THE CRAZY-TALK!
Ian Walton

Hey, happy people, it's time for another trip to #batcountry – our daily column where we look at the craziest of the crazy transfer rumors and wonder why people actually believe this stuff. And oh my goodness, this is a great one.

England's The Metro newspaper has doubled down yet again on the Bale-to-Madrid rumors, reporting on a recent interview that Florentino Perez had with Spanish TV station Punto Pelota where he talked about – who else? – Gareth Bale. The Metro article states that Perez "would have no problem in paying £100million for Tottenham winger Gareth Bale." HOLY LUNATIC FRINGE, that's a lot of money, so let's take a look at what Perez actually said:

"He's one of the big players out there in Europe and Real Madrid always likes big players."

... "I met Tottenham chairman Levy last year and he has an obligation to defend their interests."

... "Regarding the figures spoken about Bale, players are neither cheap nor expensive, but an investment. Most expensive players are those that can be classified as an investment because, if they are very good, they produce a return."

So, what did Perez say? He wants Gareth Bale – check. He's willing to over-spend to get him because players are an "investment" – check. He's had at least one meeting with Daniel Levy about Bale, last year – check. So what DON'T you see in any of those quotes? That's right, any reference to a £100m bid. According to (equally LOL) reports, Tottenham has reportedly slapped a £100m valuation on Weezus in an attempt to dissuade suitors, so one wonders if this is where that absolutely insane number came from.

Florentino Perez was very recently re-elected for another four year term as Real Madrid president. As stated on this site earlier, Perez is known for splashing cash around in an election year. But this comes two days after earlier reports of Madrid making an £85m bid, which is itself insane and is of dubious authenticity, and would still be the English transfer record, beating out what Madrid paid Manchester United for Cristiano Ronaldo. This very site recently posted a hilarious article where we postulated what we'd do with the £85m from selling Bale, and now this.

Folks. Don't believe everything you read. As of now, we don't know anything except that Real Madrid really likes Gareth Bale. So far as we know they haven't made a bid. And I'm willing to bet my 2009 Chinese-made fake replica Spurs away jersey that even if Bale is sold to Madrid, the final price won't be anywhere near £100m.

Sorry. But hey, a guy can dream, right?

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