Dispatches from #batcountry: Spurs to bid for Christian Benitez?

Greetings and salutations, Tottenham Hotspur fans! We're back with another Dispatch from #batcountry, where we debunk the dumbest of the internet football rumors during the off-season. And believe you me, these days it's a full-time job.

Full disclosure: I love the silly season. I love the rumors. I even love the dumb ones, the ones that spring fully formed from the foreheads of hack journalists and red-top newspapers. Like this one. The president of Club America in Mexico had this to say in a recent interview about Ecuadorian striker and Club America star Christian Benitez, according to The Sun:

"There could be a good offer for Christian from Tottenham.

... I've spoken with him and he wants to return to Europe. We won't clip his wings if we get an offer that suits us.

... Of course there are bids for him - he has been the league's top scorer three times after all.

... He is a great guy and a magnificent player. He is under contract but we'll look to see what is the best option."

Did you catch that? There COULD be a good offer from Tottenham! Could Tottenham make an offer for Christian Benitez? Could ANYONE? There could also be a good offer from Barcelona for Christian Benitez. ALL THINGS ARE POSSBILE!

The Sun goes on to suggest, based on absolutely nothing, that Spurs are prepared to offer £9m for the services of the 27-year old striker who flopped at Birmingham before landing in Liga MX, where he's scored 75 goals in all competitions in his three seasons with Club America.

I do appreciate that The Sun and Club America president Ricardo Pelaez have apparently been reading Jean-Paul Sartre and are responding as such to existential questions in the context of football transfer rumors. Reading stuff like this, however, I tend to respond only in the areas of angst and despair.