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Tuesday morning Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links July 23, 2013

ZOMG GUYS IT'S SOLDADO MANIA.

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Manuel Queimadelos Alonso

Happy Tuesday Spursland! Yesterday might have been the craziest jam packed news day of the year. Like everything happened. A mass Al-Qaeda attack on a Iraqi prision freed hundreds. Denis Farina passed away. And an English hero will be posthumously pardoned for doing nothing wrong and playing a big part in saving the world. Something else may have happened, and if you are excited about it or care in anyway, good for you. As for the rest of you, don't worry, Baldini is in Spain securing the new boy you really want in your life.

And now the "news"

Valencia Coach Expects Soldado To Stay-Sky Sports

Well of course he does. I mean I thought I had someone once and that they were never going to leave. Then one night she threw a microwave at me and it was later revealed she had been leaving a lot. Lesson learned always keep your head on a swivel or you miss your significant "the" sneaking out the back door.

Spurs Using Personal Touch To Land Soldado-Telegraph

It's all about that personal service people. That's why people keep going back to the local butch and giving Tesco's the old two finger salute. The guy remembers your name, he cuts it the way you want, he saves the choicest cuts for his regulars. Weird did I just make a meat metaphor about a human being? What does that say about the the buy sell system. #socialjusticenow!

Who Is Martino-Barca Blaugranes

In short, a bold choice of the highest level.

Cameroon Reinstated By FIFA-SB Nation Soccer

They may now resume World Cup Qualifying, which I have to assume they will.

The Noble Sport Of Raccoon Throwing-SB Nation

Rumors around silicon valley for years have alleged that a raccoon throwing competition between Bill Gates and Steve Jobs was how they determined who got to steal the mouse/windows idea from Xerox back in the day.