Wednesday morning Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Wednesday July 24, 2013

Happy Wednesday Spursland! No, it hasn't happened yet, so you have time to hit the drive-thru before they stop serving breakfast. Priorities.

And now the "news"

Valencia President Warns Spurs He Will Not Lower The Asking Price-Sky Sports

You sir are like a fish that swallowed the bait. The hook has already been set and yet you keep swimming, struggling and all that. You might as well already be coated in a drizzle of fine olive oil and slapped on my grill. It is happening and you can't stop it.

Bale Will Stay Insists AVB-The Guardian

You hear that guys? He insists. So everybody be cool. You over there, I see you not being cool. You next to him, say bitch be cool. Say it! Tell him to chill! We are all gonna be like a bunch of Fonzies around here, and what's Fonzie like?

Coloccini Chokes Opposing Player During Game-SB Nation Soccer

That is a picture of a man with violence behind his eyes, who also happens to not know the best way to choke somebody to death. You have to use your forearm and do it from behind them.

Walcott And Ox Are Very Confident, Think They Are Hilarious-The Short Fuse

Spoiler alert: they are not.

Will Bale Sign For Real Madrid-Managing Madrid

Yes, he referred to us as "the Spurs".

A-Rod Faces Lifetime Ban-SB Nation

Somehow Yankee fans who have been demanding him be kicked out of town will find a way to be mad at him if he is banned, and tossed off the team. I personally have been calling for A-Rod to face a lifetime ban for when he dated Madonna and her lizard arms.