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Monday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links July 29, 2013

Tottenham Hotspur daily links with lots of Gareth Bale, 70-yard wonder strikes, and a Gold Cup win for America.

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Chris McGrath

Happy Monday, Spursland! Oh the joy, after a week of tumbleweeds blowing through the Cartilage Free Captain newsroom the instant the weekend hits and entire summer's worth of stories pick up steam like a really outdated ocean liner picks up steam. I'd advise you to keep your browser parked right here until these stories are wrapped up guys. As far as websites that wait to post until quality and not made up sources have been established, not to brag, but we are one of the fastest. And just so you know, I, the destroyer of the English language, am completely not involved in any of that so you know they take it seriously.

And now the "news"

Usurping Ronaldo Would Be The Final Step In Bale's Evolution-The Guardian

Your argument is invalid. Hugely invalid by the use of supporting quotes from Juande Ramos.

Levy To Offer Bale New Deal For £170k-Telegraph

Insert reversewageewageswages.gif. Or maybe just this.

Do You Like 70 Yard Goals-SB Nation Soccer

Yes, you do. You know what else you like? Shoe horned in Art Donovan interviews. (The boss is on vacation, THERE IS NO LAW!!!!) (Editor's Note: There will be some law.)

Mexico's National Team Is Missing, And There Are Flyers To Prove it-SB Nation Soccer

You probably won't see these guys on Nancy Grace, because, well you know.

USMNT Champions Of North America Again-SB Nation Soccer

A win made bittersweet by yet another knee injury to the beloved Stu Holden and big props to Panama for really going for it in that game, however we must inform you that we will be sending our men around next Thursday to reposes that canal.

More Bale Crap From Madrid's Point Of View-Managing Madrid

The deal was expected within hours of posting this. it was posted on Saturday soooooooooooo. Instead let me just remind you that this guy, used to be this guy. Just a little PSA.