Friday morning Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for July 5, 2013

Sup internet? Our buddy The Roosevelts got good and drunk for America Day and wasn't able to do the Hoddle. I forgive him. As per custom, I will be linking the Daily Mail, like I do every time I have to write the Hoddle. It's my way of getting back at the monster I created.

Spurs face competition from ambitious Southampton in race to sign Damiao | Daily Mail

The Mail's headline was a horrible clusterfuck of stupid so I re-wrote it for them.

Scott Parker: the time he nearly joined Fenerbahce | Les Rosbifs

Dude totally should have went for it.

Spurs/Swindon loan links | Windy COYS

Dude what is up with that headline font?

This is how to get it done | Dear Mr. Levy

If Spooky ran this club, we'd be a lot better off.

For Whom the Belles Toll | The Fighting Cock

I'm not sure how to feel about Doncaster Belles and their relegation, and I'm certainly not in the camp of folks who think Arsenal are the most evil thing ever for moving to North London, but this is interesting and worth a read.

Chaos in CAF: FIFA suspend Cameroon, dock Togo points | SB Nation

African football hasn't really progressed much since the 90s, either in pure footballing terms or in avoidance of corruption. Isn't that glass ceiling a bitch?

Official: Chelsea and Vitesse reach agreement for Marco van Ginkel | We Ain't Got No History

With Luis Suarez soon to follow.