Presenting the most disheartening rumor this summer

This one probably belongs in the #batcountry category, but I'm addressing this rumor in the regular rumors section because of how much I hate it. The Daily Star is one of many outlets linking Inter Milan defender Andrea Ranocchia to Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester United. Italian publications TuttomercatoWeb and Corierre dello Sport have featured similar reports. This is absolutely horrific and awful.

Have you ever seen Ranocchia play? He's absolutely infuriating. He'll play most of a crap game, then make an absolutely absurd goal-line clearance or score an awesome headed goal on a corner. Just when you start to come around to the idea that he's not crap, he makes an unspeakably boneheaded error and gifts his opponent a goal.

His main asset is that he is tall. He's slow as hell, takes 10 seconds to turn 180 degrees and regularly switches off. While watching him, you think that he's a young defender and that he might improve these aspects of his game before you realize that he's 25 freaking years old and somehow still sucks.

I would smash Franco Baldini's car with a tire iron if we paid real currency for Andrea Ranocchia.