Happy Wednesday, Spursland! Well, not really. We've all known this day was coming since our brave Scotty Parker performed his last 360 degree turn in a Spurs shirt in the season closer against Sunderland, and now with news filtering through that he was involved in a medical at QPR's ground yesterday, it seems to be pretty much upon us: our very own RAF Captain is finally being honorably discharged (or actually maybe court-martialled, depending on where QPR sit in your estimations). I know that Scotty wasn't exactly held in everyone's highest regards by the end of his time with Spurs, but that doesn't really matter because this site isn't really a democracy. Thus, today's Hoddle is officially dedicated to one of the founding members of the Tottenham Hair Club for Men. Thanks for taking it all on the chin, Scotty.
And now the "news"
Oh dear, someone please inform Chris Coleman that you can't transfer between national teams. But break it to him gently, he's still reeling from the news that the Red Sea isn't actually red.
Finally, the question of whether he or Lloris will make the #1 shirt their own for the years to come is settled.
"Because of all the affection of the people", he claimed, as he dodged the projectiles and spit lovingly launched his way by the tearfully grateful Merseyside public.
The Age Where A Mediocre Fulham Team Won Nothing has passed; the dawning of the Age Where A Slightly More Expensive Mediocre Fulham Team Won Nothing is upon us.
This is because Elmohamady really loves playing in the Championship.
By which he presumably means they haven't found a dumpster fire large and fierce enough to discard their stake in the club into. Dear Inter fans: only kidding, this is satire or whatever.
Sorry, Tranmere fans. I guess this won't be your year after all.
But has he ever done this? No. Scolari, I refute your claim thus.