Friday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links For August 23, 2013

Happy Friday, Spursland! Well that Europa league game was almost enough to forget about Bale. I mean who really needs Bale at his advanced age when you have Andros Townsend? The answer to that question is Real Madrid again in four years. And they can look forward to an even steeper mark up.

And now the "news"

AVB Hails Townsend Display- Sky Sports

Joe Lewis just renamed the right back corner of his vault "The place I keep the money I will eventually have to pay Andros" area.

Bale Cannot Turn Down Madrid Says Keane- ESPN FC

I hope LA doesn't see a single cloud in the sky for the remainder of your contract and there happens to also be a mysterious drought of any sunscreen higher than SPF5 in the greater southwest area. That is the strongest Irish curse I know.

Madrid To Bid For Suarez, Says Guardian- Managing Madrid

Which would mean that if Suarez goes and nobody leaves that Gareth Bale couldn't fit on Madrid's roster.  This thing has more plot twists and drama than Pretty Little Liars.  I am not actually sure if that is a true statement as I refuse to watch that show, but Shane made a pretty strong case back when I paid attention to what he said.

Arsenal To Target Di Maria And Benzema- The Short Fuse

So this is how they are going to "turn this window around" or whatever Piers Morgan will tweet. They pick up two players we didn't deem worthy in the Bale deal in order to make room on Madrid's roster so Bale can fit and we lose Bale. IT IS JUST SO SIMPLE IT JUST MIGHT WORK. Which is I think how they described the Bay of Pigs operation when they pitched it to Kennedy.

Mourinho Returns To Golden Age Form, Entertaining Off The Pitch And Not So Much On It- SB Nation Soccer

The word entertaining should probably be replaced with talented, spoiled, entitled, prick