Friday morning Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for August 9, 2013

Happy Friday Spursland! Gentlemen, ladies, cats walking on their owner's keyboards: Today is the end of an era. Sure I have missed a few days here and there but just over two and a half years I have been writing your (and I do mean your) Hoddle of Coffee. But today is my last day ...

... until next week. What, did you think i was leaving? What are you insane? Young guys are my last tether to reality. For the next week my good pal Ed will be very graciously filling in in while I am off in America's deep south. And in all seriousness I started writing here during the absolute darkest time of my life (no the microwave was not involved) and you guys kept me going. I take the Hoddle very personally, though not seriously, so it is a bit weird letting it go for an extended period. This is my first and probably only extended absence And I will miss starting your mornings with fart jokes, snark, and general condescension. See you in a week.

Oh yeah, be nice to Ed.

And now the "news"

The Spurs And Madrid Talks Have Broken Down-Telegraph

Is anyone else watching these negotiations and being reminded of that old Simpson's episode with the trillion dollar bill (best quality I could find)?

Madrid Turned Down Adebayor As Part Of Bale Talks-Daily Mail

Now i have refused, and I mean REFUSED to link to the Mail for almost two years now, because they suck. They do, they are the worst. Many of you may have noticed the joy and glee Kevin has on those times when he fills in for me and links to the Mail. But ya know, I am going on vacation and this is just too awesome not to link to so screw it. Dan Levy is a troll.

Morata Remains Key To Bale Transfer-Telegraph

This has got to be what it felt like to be a Russian during the early Cold War watching Stalin negotiate with the west. "Ah the Allies want the next big three meeting to be in the west but Stalin was like F that noise it's Tehran or nothing Ahahahaha."

John Henry Says Liverpool Will Not Sell Suarez-Liverpool Offside

And for his next act John Henry will totally beat that steam drill, and all he needs is his trust sledge hammer. Nobody? Nobody knows that tale?

French Ligue 1 Review-SB Nation Soccer

Check this out and if you like it you should visit the site's Underboss Bryan A's personal site We're Number Un.

Alex Morgan Out With MCL Sprain-Stars And Stripes FC

Somewhere Ryan Roseblatt is nude and crying in the fetal position.

Gervinho Off To Roma-The Short Fuse

Confession time, and this is not nice. Whenever I saw Gervinho on my TV I would sing the underrated Bush song Alien. I will miss that.

Ronaldinho Is Still Awesome-SB Nation Soccer

Shrugs...

See you next week everyone. Also before I go special thanks to Kevin the big boss man for picking me to do this over someone who would assuredly be less of a pain in the ass than I am.