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An oral history of Tom Carroll's loan move to QPR

A unique look into the nadir of Tottenham Hotspur Football Club

Tom getting pushed out of the way, as per usual
Tom getting pushed out of the way, as per usual
Jamie McDonald

On the 2013 transfer deadline day, Tottenham Hotspur Football Club agreed to a loan for promising midfield prospect Tom Carrol with Queens Park Rangers Football Club. This is an oral history of this move.

Andros Townsend (Winger, THFC) "They're getting a hell of a player."

Harry Redknapp (Manager, QPR) "Aw he's a triffic player. What a top, top lad. We're thrilled to have him."

Andre Villas Boas (Manager, THFC) "Thomas is a player of incredible dimension. We are very impressed with him and the important thing is for him to get time on the field, to understand the flow and execution of the game. While he is not ready for a starting spot at Tottenham yet, a year of regular playing time will enhance his abilities, preparing him for his place in our team."

Daniel Levy (Chairman, THFC) "Tom is a phenomenal player who could help any team. Which is why I loaned him out to the Championship. Like most things I do, this move was designed to further my two goals: Making money and trolling fans of Tottenham Hotspur Football Club."

Arsene Wenger (Manager, Arsenal Football Club) "I have been trying to destroy Tottenham for more than twenty years now, and I doubt I could have done eet as completely as their Chairman has done today by ruining Carroll's career with a championship loan. I only wish I could have seen this incident."

Edward F. (President, Tom Carroll Fan Club) "Fucking AVB. Typical. There used to be a football club here."

Bryan A. (Editor, Cartilage Free Captain) "Its hard to talk through the gallons of Häagen-Dazs and tequila I've had since this was announced, but I can't believe we did this. His play is so beautiful, HE is so beautiful. We were meant together. Why can't you see this Daniel Levy? WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THIS?!"

David Bentley (English Hair All XI) "This is just more evidence of Tottenham's vendetta against English players. Why would they get rid of solid players like him and me? It makes no sense, right?"

Lennon's Eyebrow (Staff Writer, Cartilage Free Captain) "#LevyOut #EndLevyChairmanship

Sol Campbell (England Defender, Traitor, Fat) "I thought I tried to hurt Tottenham, but I never could have landed a wound this deep. Well played, Mr. Levy."

Sepp Blatter (President of FÍFA, Cold Ass Honky) "I have done quite a bit to hurt football, but even I'm a bit taken aback by the damage Levy has clearly tried to do to Tottenham and English football with this move. Ouch."

Tom Carroll (Footballing Messiah, Golden God, Midfielder) "They have Cristal at QPR, right? Then what's the problem, man? The Tom abides."

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