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Friday Morning Hoddle Of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News And Links October 3, 2014

Go stuff some wrenches in your pockets, everyone. I can wait.

Ian Walton

Happy Yom Kippur Spursland!And We all have much to atone for this year but nobody more than Vlad Chriches. Good lord, what a scary, scary guy.  He's like Gomes, but he runs around and stuff. And what a coincidence Saturday marks the beginning of Eid al-Adha for our Muslim brothers and sisters, a celebration remembering Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his chosen son to show his commitment to the Lord.  And hey, that story sounds a lot like the one in my very, very Catholic bible. What's up with that?  I guess there is more that unites us than divides us and we should all shut the hell up with the complaining about our minuscule differences. Besides The fact that Harry Kane is our future glorious leader is something that all people of all faiths can get behind.

And now the "news"

Poche Is Angry After Draw - Sky Sports

He ain't the only one Jack! I wouldn't be surprised if in the middle of the night Kane, and Bentaleb throw a blanket over Chiriches holding him down while, being lead by new captain Kaboul, the rest of the team beat him senseless with socks filled with wood screws.  I only got to watch the first 12 minutes of the game as it was time to dawn my cape as Coach Salmon but judging from Twitter it would be deserved.

5 things We Learned From The Europa League - Independant

"Kane is able," please fill your pockets with socket wrenches and walk with a deliberate stride into the ocean, and just keep on going.  We have no need of you anymore, artificial selection at it's finest that plan right there is.

Gabi Admits Taking Money That Could Be Related To Match Fixing - SB Nation Soccer

Nothing out of the ordinary here, but I could see someone legit taking 85K and being confused as to what it was for especially playing at a smaller team in La Liga.  Never know when you'll get paid or how over there man.

The Very Offensive Throw In - SB Nation Soccer

I was very offended. Now if you will excuse me I have to go buy some wrenches and drive to the beach.

Barca Will Lose Alves During Transfer Ban - SB Nation Soccer

Who is going to be willing to pay top dollar for a 32 year old right back in the Premier League, his desired location? Not the top level teams surely, but he will also probably want to stay in posh posh London.  LEVVVVVVVVYYYYYY, get the check book!