... So I guess this is the end. I know the change was coming, but wow, it really happened. Kevin is gone, Dustin is the boss now. But you know, they say the greatest trick that Kevin ever pulled was convincing us that he was just one person. You know what I am saying, don't you? You all thought that you could only change your SB Nation name once. One time and forever. But why would you believe such things? You came close before, you almost figured it out, and then your belief withered away into a cheap Internet meme. We are all Kevin? You were so close, and now he is so far away. Or is he?
You wake today to find new members of the masthead, including one that has been conspicuous by her mysteriousness before and by her absence recently. Is Kevin really gone? Is he here now? Has he been here all along? Is this still making sense? Or have I gone off the rails? OK screw this, yes Usual Suspect references, we got it. On to the news and fart jokes!
USMNT's Yedlin Goes Global- Guardian
Originally published in Eight-by-Eight Magazine, this profile comes complete with glowing comments from college coach Caleb Porter who has in the past poo poo'd the idea that Yedlin could be a break out offensive star.
The 17 Worst Excuses In Football- Telegraph
OK "the pitch is too small" is not nearly as bad as "the balls were too bouncy." And that is only funny because what adult person can't find a better, more scientific way to describe the balls other than bouncy. The game orbs were overly inflated could be a legit concern.
Poche Says Rotation Will Continue- Sky Sports
I mean, this makes basic sense. Shitload of cups means a shitload of extra games equals "hey you guys, sit on your ass today because we need you to still have legs in March." Real controversial stuff over here from the IMMIGRANT manager.
Newcastle's Turnaround Was Kind Of Predictable- SB Nation Soccer
Statsman Caley is here to make you feel super better about losing to Newcastle.
4th Division Club's Story Will Break Your Heart- SB Nation Soccer
I guess their fans stopped pointing the arrows at the goal half way through the shoot out? Related: I am the worst, although I may also be Kevin.
Jason Chimera, Artisinal Halloween Costume Wearer- SB Nation
Two Indonesia Teams REALLY Are Trying To Throw This Game- Deadspin
Who cares if the team they play in the next round is run by gangsters the game is about COURAGE and GLORY, and OUTRUNNING SUPPRESSING MACHINE GUN FIRE!