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Tottenham Hotspur vs. Southampton: Player ratings to the theme of Saturday Morning Cartoons

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Whatever you think you liked from your childhood is wrong. We're here to set the record straight.

Ian Walton

This weekend not only saw Spurs beat the Saints 1-0 while playing some of the best football they've managed all season, but it also saw the demise of Saturday Morning Cartoons on network television in America. Today we honor our players in memoriam of the animated friends of our youths.

5 Stars - Batman: The Animated Series

The undisputed king of all cartoon shows. Batman: TAS put the dark in "Dark Knight" before Christopher Nolan ever held a camera. Despite being a cartoon for kids, it gave a mature, nuanced look at the caped crusader and tackled adult themes not normally found in children's fare. Its art deco, film noir style is gorgeous, and it's still the best Batman has ever looked to this day (sorry Joel Schumacher). And forget Bale, Clooney, Kilmer, and Keaton. Kevin Conroy is Batman.

Hugo Lloris: I still can't believe this guy's on our team. Beyond his typical sweeper-keeping heroics, this season Hugo's shot stopping ability has really come to the fore. It was on display yet again as he kept out Victor Wanyama's goal-bound strike to help secure all three points for Spurs.

Christian Eriksen: He's often looked uncertain of his role in Pochettino's system, but not on Sunday. At long last, the Christian Eriksen of last spring has begun to reemerge. He completely ran the show and scored a well-taken winner. Welcome back.

Etienne Capoue: He has become a dominant force in midfield this season. And his passing ain't too shabby neither. Many Spurs fans feared to see what the man-we-should-have-signed would do against Tottenham, but our Frenchman kept the in-form Morgan Schneiderlin quiet all day.

4 Stars - Looney Tunes

No matter how old you are, Bugs Bunny and friends had a hand in raising you. And if they didn't, you've probably grown into a worse person because of it. Looney Tunes was revolutionary in the '30s and '40s, and is still smart and relevant 80 years later. Tex Avery, Chuck Jones, and Bob Clampett were geniuses, who between them created a slew of iconic characters and episodes full of timeless insight and humor. Suck it, Disney.

Jan Vertonghen: His mouth may keep saying dumb things to the press, but his #bodylanguage was doing all the talking I care about on Sunday. Whatever your feelings about the man's attitude or his face, he's the best defender at the club.

Emmanuel Adebayor: Frustrating as hell, terrible first touch, offside a lot, but some days he's just a baller. Sunday was one of those days. His run down the left started the move that led to Eriksen's opener, and but for an unlucky strike off the post he should have notched an assist for Chadli's first half finish. For the first time since QPR, he looked hungry and involved.

3 Stars - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I'll be honest, I have no idea if this show actually holds up at all. I'm pretty sure it's unwatchable garbage. But I don't care. They're pizza-eating mutant turtles who also happen to be ninjas and that's awesome. Every kid born after 1980 has told their parents at least once they want to be a ninja turtle when they grow up. Cowabunga, motherf***ers.

Ryan Mason: Maybe he's a little too old to be called a kid, but he's certainly a novice. But after his first two starts against tough opposition, he's starting to look like an old pro. He's still got some mistakes in his game, but he looks comfortable on the ball, dangerous in possession, and eager to put himself about. More please.

Erik Lamela: Unlucky not to score a couple and he looked in sync with Eriksen better than he has all year. Took up a wide role and looked much more of a goal threat than he has previously. Shows every sign of developing into the player we all thought he would be.

Younes Kaboul: Kaboom continues his road to recovery, no doubt motivated by a determination to prove me wrong. He followed up his immense performance at the Emirates with a pretty good showing against Southampton. If he can be awesome again, that'd be great. But maybe stop trying to play left wing?

Nacer Chadli: He's been in great goalscoring form so far this season, but has struggled to get involved elsewhere on the pitch. Today his finishing form deserted him, but he showed a lot more willingness to put himself about in midfield and create chances for his teammates. If he can put it all together he could be awesome.

Danny Rose: His defending finally looks assured, but he's struggling to make a real impact in attack. One through ball aside, I can't recall him contributing much going forward. Hopefully he can add some balance to his game.

2 Stars - Thundercats

Like its friend He-Man, part of a generation of shows that were nothing more than cheap trash designed to shill action figures. Unlike the superior TMNT, it lacked the necessary joie de vivre to elevate it to truly iconic status and overcome its shoddy animation and storytelling. Also it had Snarf. DIAF, Snarf.

Kyle Naughton: Looked good while he was on the pitch but then he died so he gets docked a star for leaving us without a right back. Never would have thought he could be such an important part of the team, but his injury really screws us. And of course it was an on loan Chelsea player who did it. Stupid Chelsea.

Eric Dier: I dunno. He was fine.

Mousa Dembele: Didn't really do anything. It's not his fault he came on for Eriksen, but he really shouldn't have come on for Eriksen.

1 Star - The Smurfs

Hanna-Barbera produced the cheapest, laziest schlock masquerading as cartoons out there. Emblematic of their slapdash rubbish was their show starring everyone's least favorite mushroom-dwellers: the Smurfs. A village full happy-go-lucky shirtless blue dudes who replaced every other word with Smurf, all of whom were defined by having one personality trait (Smurfette's apparently being that she had to Smurf all the other Smurfs, probably). Oh and there was an evil wizard who wanted to eat them.

Nobody was as bad as the Smurfs.

0 Stars - The Snorks

A show Hanna-Barbera basically plagiarized from itself. The only thing dumber than the Smurfs were the Snorks, who are nothing more than Smurfs someone failed to drown properly that somehow mutated to survive underwater. F*ck the Snorks.

Or the Snorks.