[Thanks to OHSpurs for the logo]
SCENE: a North London alleyway. Daniel Levy and and Erik Lamela have just departed; MAURICIO POCHETTINO now arrives with several Spurs players. With him are YOUNES KABOUL, CHRISTIAN ERIKSEN, HARRY KANE, ROBERTO SOLDADO, and STEFAN FREUND.
KABOUL: Gaffer, where we going now? Is that the airport?
POCHETTINO: ¡Si! We have Europa League match in Greece today.
ERIKSEN: Awwww but I HATE the Europa League!
Europa League! Tournament teeny!
For this I blame Michel Platini!
Always the competition stronger,
Always the group stages longer,
And the officials wronger!
And the stadiums tiny,
And the supporters whiny.
I like the Champions League better
If we could only just get there!
Don't like it here in Europa League
Drink lots of beer in Europa League
Cower in fear of Europa League
Why are we here in Europa League?
Fighting with racists in Serbia
(Like Chelsea fans in suburbiaaaaa!)
Going to Turkey's a big pain
(Least we're not going to Ukraine!)
Always the same in Europa League
Fly in a plane to Europa League
Trial of pain in Europa League
Going insane in Europa League!
Hard to compete with the rich Sheiks
(So we contend with shirtless Greeks!)
When we win we'll give a big cheer!
(When we are fourth we won't be here...)
Trying to care ‘bout Europa League
(To) Do is To Dare in Europa League
Stadiums bare in Europa League
(Hit by a flare in Europa League!)
Partizan rioting next door.
(Pardon me while I hit the floor...)
Parachute clubs give me big frown!
(Bet we'll face Liverpool, next round!)
Big match today in Europa League
Ready to play in Europa League
Go all the way in Europa League
So we don't stay in Europa League!