Happy Spursday, Spursland! Oh hey, the League Cup is back. You know, like that friend who isn't always invited out with your group, for reasons, but sometimes is just there because Ted thinks he is funny. But Teddy doesn't know funny. Ted is just kept around because he is a bartender and your friends are cheap. So where does Ted get off inviting people? Ted is an asshole. All Teds. (Ed. note: Counterpoint)
And now the "news"
He doesn't need to do this for anyone watching the team the last few weeks as fixtures got congested, like Ted's stupid nose. Why doesn't he get that looked at? He sounds like he has sleep apnea when he is awake for crying out loud.
Howard claims "Ted" put him up to it.
Ted, who claims to live in Brooklyn, but really lives in Hoboken, is so torn up about this. Or so he says. We all know Ted doesn't have emotions.
I asked Ted if I could borrow some nutmeg once. He gave me Cumin. CUMIN!!!
A few days ago, the boys and girls at Bloody Elbow.com broke a massive story of a class action lawsuit filed by former MMA fighters against the UFC which could cost the combat sports juggernaut hundreds of millions in damages. I kept trying to include it in the Hoddle, but FUCKING TED KEPT DISTRACTING ME.